I'm mad! Conan the Barbarian (original film) ranked #82 in all time fantasy films

When I think about a genre that I consider to be very difficult and expensive to pull off the fantasy genre has to be one of the most difficult. For one thing not everyone likes fantasy stories to begin with and since it is meant to contain things that cannot exist in real life it is always going to be more difficult and expensive for the producers to pull it off in a meaningful capacity. Therefore there are a lot of films that people have ideas for that probably never get made.

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One of the earliest memories I have in my life of a film that I found absolutely amazing was Conan the Barbarian (the 1982 original, not the shitty remake from 2011.) This was my first introduction to Arnold Schwarzenegger and just like everyone else I was just amazed with his physique. His acting wasn't really that great back then but it's not like they had a bunch of other gigantic people waiting in the wings that were better than he was. The story was fun and the practical effects were really ahead of their time even in the parts where it is now evident that they actually had to hand-draw demons onto individual pieces of film.

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James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom was incredible as well and the connection of his voice to Darth Vader probably helped with how amazing and terrifying his character was. I don't know if I made the connection way back when because I was less than 10 years old.

I grew up in a relatively puritan household but my parents still allowed us to have this on VHS with the naked scenes meticulously edited out by my mother dubbing with another VCR and hitting pause during the 2 or 3 sex scenes that take place in it. I have to give my mom credit, because the giant orgy scene at the end of the movie? Well, she left that in because it would have taken too much of the story away otherwise. She really was a wonderful woman my mom, because she could have just not allowed us to watch it at all but she knew great cinema when she saw it and this was the only rated-R movie that we had in our collection.

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_{It's actually quite difficult to find a screengrab of this scene that doesn't have any bewbs in it}

Well anyway, the reason why I am upset is because of some information I stumbled upon on Rotten Tomatoes earlier today. I wasn't actually looking for this information but rather, was looking for some other fantasy films that somehow passed me by throughout the years. When I got to the list of "84 best fantasy films of all time" was disgusted when I saw that Conan the Barbarian is ranked at a paltry 82nd place.

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I get that ranking films is extremely subjective and what is great to one person might suck to another but there are certain aspects of Conan that are unmatched by other films. Just the incredible soundtrack that runs almost entirely through the film is reason enough for this to be ranked much higher. Not to mention the meticulous location scouting and set design that the various scenes demanded. The acting isn't exactly top-drawer, I'll give them that, but it is still pretty damn great.

I think what pisses me off the most isn't that this movie is number 82, but the films that are ranked above it.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is ranked above it. I couldn't even make it all the way through any of those films and they were met largely by negative reviews yet this abomination is ranked at number 75, ahead of not just Conan but Ladyhawke and Highlander as well.

Fucking Into the Woods, a musical fantasy that bored the hell out of me and IMO should have never been on the big screen is ranked at number 66.

Mary Poppins is ranked well above Conan at number 15 and I'm just kind of unclear as to how that is even a fantasy film. Magic yeah, but fantasy? What was even more upsetting is that Mary Poppins Returns is ranked one higher than the original at number 14 and I didn't even know that film existed.

Fantastic Beasts and where to find them is ranked at number 29 and I don't even know anyone that was able to endure sitting through that entire film.

Maybe I'm just old and detached from what other people think but to have such an amazing classic so far down the list is very upsetting to me. Sure it is Rotten Tomatoes so nobody really cares but here is something else that might tick you off if you are a fantasy film fan. Tom Cruise and Tim Curry's Legend doesn't appear on the list at all.

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_{me too Darkness, me too}