Thank you @araki.
I come from China and have difficulty in expressing myself in English, but I try my best to make a comment here,because your words moved me so much.
I can feel your great respect for life, and maybe that is why you feel hard and painful to accept unexpected death.
Being a hero has its price. Sometimes it is a sense of frustration and powerlessness.
“Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability.” I think doctors can do much better than others in tolerating uncertainty, do you think so?