A welcome to the World

So, apparently introducing yourself on social media is a 'thing' now (Mentally rolling my eyes). I mean, who needs to know my name? But the kids are into it nowadays, so I figure I should do it too.

My name is Ryan-Ashley Barnes, and there's nothing inherently special about me. I'm not the weirdest person ever, I'm not the most creative, although I do have my moments. I am, however, determined, occasionally funny, and I currently hold the world record for holding the longest grudge. My Grandma has been dead for about 2 years now, and I still blame her for killing my goldfish when I was seven.

Currently I am 18 years old, just graduated high school, and am ready to live my life! ...Right? Or not. I was so excited to turn 18 when I was 16 or 17. I could do anything! I was finally an adult. Until I realized that the most important thing about turning 18 is that I can now go jail and I can't blame my parents for anything anymore.

Yay.

Off to the next topic: Home life. I currently live with my parents, little sister, a retarded dog, and a 30 pound and (slightly obese) diabetic cat. All together we make up a pleasantly dysfunctional family.

Currently, my family blames my overweight cat for all their problems. And just to put things in perspective here, picture your average house cat. That cat probably weighs 8-12 pounds. My poor fat tomcat weights just over 30. Three times the weight of an average cat. Now his weight had been detrimental to his health, so he now has diabetes. Now let me explain to you why my parents blame him for all earths problems.

Since he is a diabetic, he needs two shots a day of insulin, which is $50 a bottle, and a new needle every time. Now, getting up early every morning to give this cat his shot is enough to put my parents in a mood. But diabetic cats also drink a lot, because diabetes In cats makes them thirsty 24/7. So my cat's litterbox clumps are the size of your average soccer ball. This is not an exaggeration. So between my mom and I giving him his shots, and cleaning out his litterbox every day, after a while, it gets pretty tiring. Especially when my dad wants nothing to do with it.

This, of course puts my mom at odds with my dad. She, does everything for the cat, and he hates the cat, so wants nothing to do with him. So after all this, my mom is running out of money for the cat, and is debating on killing my dad in his sleep for his life insurance money. My dad has gotten pretty paranoid now, and started drinking to cope with everything, plus his fear of my mother. Passing out on the couch has become a regular for my dad now, which, of course, pissed my mother off even more. So she came up with some juicy revenge.

Nail polish.

You might be kind of confused when I say this. Painting someone's nails isn't' that bad, right? I mean, you have nail polish remover, and guys are painting there nails nowadays anyways. But it isn't quite the same when my dad is a 'manly' man, and my mom dumps all the nail polish remover down the drain. And did I mention that he was a high school math teacher? Teenagers can be pretty brutal sometimes.

Then everything turns into a vicious circle of pinks and purples, taking a toll on my parents mental health. But don't worry, I'm completely sane.

So, now you know a little bit about me. I'll probably be posting weird things when I run out of ideas, so be warned. Or if you have questions or ideas for a post, let me know, and ill be sure to check them out. If you've gotten this far, congratulations. You have no life. Comment 'Nail polish', and I'll upvote you, or something. Give me a break, I'm still new to this.

Ryan-Ashley, signing off.