Diary of a Lonesome Zombie Boy

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Friday 9/3/2032

Dear Diary,

I’m starting to question my humanity. Then again, I hear high school does that to you. The pricks at school still make fun of me. That’s nothing new. Different school year, same routine. This year it feels as if they held some national convention to all call me a zombie. They enjoy spreading the rumors about how I enjoy eating brain. Which is so not true! I’m just different from the other guys at school. Don’t get me started on how they make fun of my walk which they claim that I limp and walk slowly down the halls. I don’t have a limp and I don’t eat brain! I’m no zombie. Well, at least I don’t think I am…

-Jake

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Thursday 9/9/2032

Dear Diary,

So the morons at school added a new target to their list it seems. His name is Melvin but everyone calls him Zombie Mel. He’s too zombie to keep it a secret and hide himself. Completely obvious. Poor kid was falling apart, literally. Oh, and his walk! That walk. They call him all sorts of names like gravewalker, rottie, gunkface, and moaner. Moaner usually relating back to his mother in some way or fashion. It’s brutal really. Poor Zombie Mel.

But…then again, poor zombie Mel did ask for it. Who does he think he is? Parading his lifestyle and flaunting in our faces. The way he just creeps up to his locker by the science wing. Locker 237A. It’s disgusting! Going through life without any remorse for his immorality.The way his left eye droops just a bit off center. The way his right arm simply drags to his side with every lurking step. It’s sickening! The way his zombie body is exposed through ripped holes in his clothes. His small...tight...sexy stomach still intact. It’s frightening! Someone should really do something about this. Maybe I’ll start playing baseball. Zombies hate baseball bats. I think. I’m sure of it. But...if only he would choose to wake up, and choose to be normal again. This would be so much easier. I mean it is his choice after all. It’s… It’s… just gross.
End of discussion.

Gross.

-Jake

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Monday 9/13/2032

Dear Diary,
Not much really going on. Just a lot of thinking. Questioning. But I can’t be... one of them.

Could I?

-Jake

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Tuesday 9/21/2032

Dear Diary,

Okay…so maybe I am living (or is it unliving?) in denial a little. I don’t think there is actually anything wrong with looking at another person and fantasizing about eating them from inside out. It’s perfectly fine. It’s perfectly normal. I blame hormones.

I think I’m just a little jealous of zombie Mel. He has a sense of freedom of being himself. I don’t have that courage. What if I just decided to embrace this zombie thing? I mean, there has to be something about it? Plus, if I’m going to be getting bullied for being a zombie, I might as well be one.

I just don’t want Frank Davidson to hate me. We’re suppose to lovers... if only he would finally realize this.

-Jake

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Wednesday 10/12/2032

Dear Diary,

I can’t take all these non-stop thoughts about Frank anymore. I can’t help gazing at him during class. How his strands of red hair rebels against the shade of perfect black. How his hair stops just right next to his soft-looking temples. I bet he has a huge, mouth-watering brain. I can‘t believe that I could think such things. Frank is smart. Like A+ student smart. That brain must get a great work out. His eyes are golden, not brown. Big difference. Huge difference even. Easy access to the brain... I mean...soul. I fantasize about him every day in history class.

So diary, The other day he asked if he could borrow a #2 pencil. The way those golden eyes locked into my own, numbing any senses that I once had. I tried to hide it but I said the stupidest thing.
“Sorry, I only have a #3 pencil.” What was I thinking! And the way he just raised a single eyebrow and said...“okay”...okay? okay! I’m such a loser.

You’d think it’d end there but no. I then went on with “Oh no, I was just kidding. You know cause you said you needed a #2 pencil, and standard pencils are always #2, so I said #3 because why would I have anything else but a #2 pencil?” Then I let out a dorktastic laugh and he said that word again, okay. I then pulled out a pencil and as he slowly reached over to grab the pencil out of my wanting hand, his hand grazed mine. It was so magical. He touched me. For a second we were one. I love him. We’re meant to be together forever. Mr. Jake Campbell-Davidson. Hmm, that has a nice ring to it. I love it!

-The Future Mr. Campbell-Davidson

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Sunday 11/14/2032

Dear Diary,

Today has been nothing shy of interesting. Mom totally busted me with a Zombie Hustle magazine. I couldn’t think of a fast enough excuse, so I had to come clean. I dreaded this day. I was expecting to hear a word-for-word copy of Reverend Thomas’ last Sunday sermon. “Zombies are what is wrong with today’s society!” I can hear him screaming in my head. Conservative bullshit, if you ask me. They used to say the same about black and even gay people. Now look at society today. Everyone has equal rights, well except zombies. Zombies are the new thing to discriminate against.

Back on topic, mom just simply hugged me and said she already knew. Already knew? How? She mentioned that all my life she noticed that my skin lacked shades of tones that the other kids did. Not all zombies have green skin pigments, mother. So stereotypical. My skin is of natural color, and there was no way she could really tell. She’s just being nice. I did get grounded for bringing “filth” into the house. She said she didn’t care if it were zombie or human filth, it is still filth. I guess moms do know best. Luckily, I ripped out a few pages before she threw it in the trash.

So ,to recap, the score is:
Mom - 0
Jake - 1

-Zombie Jake

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Wednesday 12/15/2032

Dear Diary,

Ugh! This has been the most embarrassing day of my now undead existence! During class today my left ear fell off right in front of Frank. He looked horrified! I tried to lurk out of the classroom as fast as possible after the bell rang, but sadly I didn’t lurk fast enough. Now he knows that I’m a zombie and I bet he’s going to tell everyone! I’m not ready to “come out of the graveyard” yet.

I’m just glad zombie Mel came to talk to me after he heard about my in class incident. He’s a really cool zombie guy. He told me not to stress out and that this happens to most zombies dealing with high school. He also promised that it gets easier after high school. Then he walked me to my locker just to keep me company.

It’s still going to be another two days though. I’m so happy the semester is almost over. Two more days…Two more days and I am home free.

-Zombie Jake

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Friday 12/17/2032

Dear Diary,

Freedom has arrived! Well, at least until January when all classes pick up again. Zombie Mel… I mean… Melvin walked me to my bus today. It was sweet. He’s been really amazing with helping with all this zombie stuff. He then asked for my number and we exchanged them. It was the highlight of my day. But, I wonder if he’ll call me first? I’m pretty sure there is a rule about waiting two days or something. Maybe I watch too much T.V.? Maybe I don’t watch enough T.V. to know if this rule is actually a rule? Oh well, who knows. All I do know is, I hope I get to see Melvin over winter break. I would really like that…

-Zombie Jake

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Saturday 1/1/2033

Dear Diary,

A new year. A new me. Sorry about my absence and not writing so much during this break. Christmas was great and I got some pretty sweet things. But you know what, all these great presents fail to compare to Melvin. Since last time I’ve written down anything, we’ve been on a few dates. Last night for New Years’ he took me to what seemed like an all-zombie party. Then shortly afterwards we went to The ZombieCow, which is just a simple cow brains and organs joint and nothing too fancy. A sweet yet personal way to bring in the new year.

I’m starting to love the other side of humanity.

-Zombie Jake