The bond between two humans or any other being for that matter is built, not found. Compatibility, I think, helps in the beginning when we say we fell in love with each other, on the basis of this and that ... But after that phase, compatibility does not get you to have a perfect marriage, friendship or any other relationship. It's active participation that does. It's communication. This is based on a presumption of mine, I reckon to be more true than not, that the only real issues in the world are due to miscommunication. If I am sad and you don't see it, my sadness grows. If I am sad and you do see it but are unable to say/do something, that would help me, the sadness grows still. Only if I expect of someone to stand by me, when times are tough, and he/she is able to help me in a way that I can understand and that really changes my situation, do I really see the, otherwise invisible, effort of their work. And this makes it sound simple; do good things to your friends/family/spouse and they will know you love them. But if it is put like the metaphor of Fish love, by Rabbi Dr Abraham Twerski, it seems it isn't so easy, but at the same time it is more than manageable. I have pasted the link to a video of him, i really appreciate his metaphor, its simplicity and profound message: