At least the late Suri Simbok once told this story. "Genduk", someone's fate is already written on the sky, in the sidelines cloudy, among the mega-mega. Just because of the nature and attachment of this too small man, then become unable to see and read it. And then again, every foot stumbles stone, he says again it has become destiny. Then the life struggle is lost.
Source Image
She remembered that such a sentence was once resolute in her heart, now not yet falling into the puddle of sin and sorcery as it is today.
But in the course of her life, which has become very much the same physical and spiritual branches as now, will such a phrase still be refreshed in the recesses of her heart? Of course with the hope that it will be able to show a lot of faith again in returning to the way of God with the mercy and blessing.
Suri Simbok is still continuing her speaking. And later if you've become a big ngger, you will not be able to see the fate with just your eyes and your mind. Later you can only read it with the eyes of your heart only. However, both your hands will be able to uncover and change them.
Then the young woman was stunned with a blurry face. The doubted crossed her mind. What appeared before her was a mud puddle full of sin and blemish. It seems there is no other way to move. There are no paths to pass by. Her eyeballs and mind seemed to be dead, because the pain was not able to find a way to get out of this mud puddle. If she compels, will it come here later will not be the same? Undoubtedly will fall as a peddler of the body for the satisfaction of men again.
Then always becomes the burden of the inner question, should she use the recipe from his deceased simbok's advice? Did she mean that in order to find a way out of this Yellow Lemah localization she had to use his heart's eye? Is there still a way for that? Can she still be? While her life and mind were destroyed, trampled by ridicule and insult.
There was a sigh with a look up
"My God, am i beyond your greatness?"
But she did not think it was, the sighs had taken the shadow of her fate that had come back like a black stretch in her mind.
The black times of her own fate which is always easy to remember is (which then becomes the material to blame herself), that since when she began to be taken by sin, and since when she began to walk in the ways of God.
And the most incomprehensible but terrible, is why until she wants and can be stranded in a pool of prostitution like in this Leman Kuning localization
So unaware, or perhaps out of fear it would just be the satire of the crowd, she dared not say it was her fate.
When the black times over her fate will take place at her initial points, which record the moment of separation with her parents, her tears begin to melt. Because the separation was forever. However, when she realized will to cry, the tears were wiped away quickly.
Then the feeling of her heart rolled erratically. Her inner sighs continued.
The body is like a bunch of sin. why should i still cry again? People say, a thousand times a person like me is crying, none of my tears will be heard by God. More satirical words, what's the tear of prostitute who're like me?
There may indeed be certain limitations to differentiate the tears of those who feel they have never had sins with the tears of those who have been bathed in sin like i am. What a cruel if indeed the limit and the word is there.
Source Image
It was the inevitable horror !!
Is not it like this? Of course that's my opinion. Tears of everyone are equal. This hand can be dirty by a thousand sins, even though the water still flows with the clear. Really warm. Tears can not do fake. Only the face and the heart can do fake. And i do not want to include this last one.
If then people have said like that, that i can't longer cry and shed tears, will anyone else judge me, that i myself can not regret what i have done?
Oh no! Do not let others judge me! I will have my own judge. That! There! later when i am called and facing Him.
But is it true that my frugality and presumption, that i am still entitled to call his greatness? Because, while this pimp mom and some people often insinuate, that God is no longer belongs to people who are evil or prostitutes like me. God belongs only to those who are good, do not belong to those who feel never rebelled and never follow sin like i am.
But as far as what i remembered when i stood moody on the lips of despair, a Kiai came to me and said this. Genduk, God belongs to every people, every human being belongs to anyone! As long as a person still wants to understand, seek and then face himself, his greatness will come down.
And i have the courage to start, no matter what the risks. Despite how his reward is. Is not i entitled to try it? My conscience is already blurred by sin and pain. But the light of my conscience must be rediscovered. I will rub again with a belief, that God is the only Merciful. And i believe that i will not be able to escape from the pockets of sin and the pain of this life without His power and greatness.
O Lord, give a little door to your servant to try to stand back and kneel in the reach of your greatness. Is not it when I was little and before my parents call me to face, i also once they lead me to understand, call and worship your greatness too?
But unfortunate for her, just at the beginning of starting to worship back to the Creator, he has fallen ill, so that during the hours of work he can not make money by serving his customers. And for two weeks she can not give money to Mrs. Mukri to rent the room she occupies, which she considers the only place to survive while tracing her range of fate.
Source Image
Sometimes again, on the sidelines of her melancholy, young woman named Suri had asked in the heart between herself and Raden Ajeng Kartini are both born as a woman, why is very much different span of her fate .....?
Thanks for reading, if possible, please Follow Up, Upvote, Reply, Resteem (repost)
@lyaastt inspires me to creat more and better content.
This post has received a 0.70 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @lyaastt.
@lyaastt got you a $1.46 @minnowbooster upgoat, nice! (Image: pixabay.com)
Want a boost? Click here to read more!