I DIDNT CHOOSE ALCOHOL, IT CHOSE ME.

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Photocredit: THINKSTOCK

GET YOUR ASS UP, you hopeless alcoholic .The strident sound of my step father’s voice filled my head as I snapped out of my trance.

You can’t be serious. My Step father looked thwarted. You really think I’d let you ruin your life? In my house ? That won’t be right . It’ll seem very low of me.”
Here we go again ,Aniefon thought. He cast a quick glance at his step father Mr Jumbo, not wanting to offend him with what he was about to say.
What I do with my life shouldn’t concern you, Jumbo.

Jumbo’s face grew serious, pouty. Then he placed his hands on Aniefon’s shoulders in a fatherly gesture and looked into his eyes and said in all seriousness, “I want you to get a life. Get a life ? “Aniefon thought, what kind of life would I want to have without my mother. He continued “I want you to be successful, okay ?
And also — “he paused to think, looking upward, then, with inexpressible sweetness, he smiled and looked Aniefon in the eye and said, “ I’ve never thought of you as being less of my son
I love you and want the best for you.
A tenderness passed between them that crossed the barriers of anger and recrimination.Aniefon saw in Jumbo’s eyes that he loved him, was sad that things happened the way it did, and also disappointed.
The moment ended.

Flash back to when I lost my father
I remember that night well. In fact, it still lingers in my mind, haunting it with a tenacity more befitting a money-lender unpaid than a memory unstaid.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

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Photocredit: Dan Skognes

My father could be a vengeful ,irreverent , hateful douchebag , but I never meant to kill him. The whole show started when I was 17.
“Dad and I were particularly close “.
We went skiing and the games together “
We even had hot baths together .
Mom was jealous most time and would joke about how she wished she had a daughter instead of a son”
Things went on well until
My father started sexually abusing me
“It was during our private moments
We were bathing together
When he raped me
“Mehn I was only 17”
I couldn't move. I was frozen in place. Unable to use my body. My eyes felt like they were being pried towards the room .
“Please,” I heard my father say , though his voice was now much deeper, sinking my gut, “ Do not tell anyone about this” I returned to my room with a sensation that was new to me: fear.
This kept going on, and I couldn’t speak up ..the only person I would have told was my mum who had cardiac arrest and was hospitalized.”

It was late at night on a Tuesday,
My father came back home
Drunk and smelly “.He came to my room and wanted to sexually abuse me as usual,”That’s when I slapped him across the face and started clawing at him.
He became furious and tried to hit me.
I was only trying to defend myself, and I pushed him..
He lost his footing and Fell off the window U heard a sickening crack as his head struck the ground . I immediately ran downstairs and saw the blood pooling around his skull immediately. I went to his side and looked into his blank eyes, hoping I was wrong, hoping I hadn’t done what it looked like I had. I screamed for him to wake up, tears in my eyes. By that point I hated my father , I wanted him gone, but I didn’t plan to kill him…

Mum died of cardiac arrest when she got the information
I felt so guilty, knew I did wrong . I was caught in a vicious circle of self-hatred perpetuated by the only thing that could make me feel any better: ALCOHOL

REFERENCE READ

https://talbottcampus.com/addiction-and-mental-health-resources/alcoholism-and-drug-abuse-articles/common-causes-alcoholism/

https://www.projectknow.com/research/alcoholism-causes/

AUTHOR’S NOTE
Many people are dying of depression and are using alcohol and drugs as a remedy for it.
The essence of this story is to brief the society as a whole on causes of depression and alcohol addiction. In Nigeria, we are quick to judge alcoholics, ignoring the reasons why he/she became an alcoholic.
We should try to find out the reasons behind people’s predicaments before quickly judging and socially stratifying
them.
I think a better way of helping alcoholics and drug addicts conquer their habituations is to try to understand the reason behind their addiction and try to guide them through a proper rehabilitation process.