@kome, don't be too hard on yourself. Change comes when it needs to come. Also, every day and every moment in that day is a chance to change something about your life. What may work is not setting so many goals in a month. Instead you can try shorter ones. Like 'today, I will read one chapter' instead of 'I will read more books' which is a general goal. Try setting smaller tasks and accomplishing them first. Best of luck. Love yourself!