Story: Part 1 - Can you truly claim you completely know a person?

Have you ever been taken by surprised or being disappointed to the core by a person’s actions you thought you once knew?

Courtship:

My story begins as an eighteen-year-old girl, impressed by a young soldier (same age) who seemed to have the same morals and standards. Most importantly his heart and priorities were in the right place. He was very different from most men I knew. An earth child, loved hiking and knew everything about nature there was to know. A very refreshing young man, not the normal stereo type, loud mouth and only out to impress women.

He did all the right things during the four years of courtship. He helped me over weekends while looking after my sister’s kids. He assisted with the cooking and loved entertaining the girls endlessly for which they absolutely adored him. We had religious discussions and there was this spiritual connection which was inevitable between us. Basically he met nearly everything on my “tick list when looking for a husband” I had.

Every now and again though his insecurities will manifest themselves when we were out with other young people our age. There were times that I felt embarrassed by his behaviour, so much so that I often wondered if I should marry this man. But the saying “love is blind” is very true. I thought he only needed love which I at that stage had in abundance.

My excuse for his behaviour was the fact that he had to live in his older sibling’s shadows (especially the older brother: a dominant, highly intelligent but self-righteous man). I also questioned the amount of love he received from his parents as his mom did not care much about him. She allowed him from a tender age to take off on the farm for days not really knowing where he was.

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Both virgins at the age of twenty-three, got ourselves in a situation where we threw all caution to the wind, trapped in our passion for each other we over stepped our boundaries and experienced that which we only saw in movies. The after math was me falling pregnant. Young and naïve we thought this wasn’t that bad as we were already engaged. We knew we will have to face church discipline and the family.

It was quite embarrassing experiencing my mom and older sisters’ disappointment in me. He did not want to tell his parents which I wasn’t happy about. For me, it felt like we were deceiving them in the worst manner ever, but it was his choice and I had to respect it. We wanted to elope as soon as possible but my family was against this which caused great animosity between him and my mom with me in the middle, pregnant and trying to keep everyone happy.

After going through church discipline, and planning the wedding we finally reached that dream day every little girl envisions except everything that could possibly go wrong on that special day did. An hour before the wedding, stressed out, I called the chapel to tell him the wedding is off but no one answered. Two hours late and three months pregnant we finally tied the knot at a joyous celebration. Both believing we will grow old together, sitting on a veranda overlooking majestic mountains. holding hands, speaking about how good life has been for us.

Married life: To be continued

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