A TRUE LIFE STORY FROM A DISTANCE FRIEND......: Just a lesson, not a life sentence.

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Hello steemians I will say, how has been our day and it is quite a few time again we can learn one or two lessons, this article I wrote was a true life story from a friend, a close and a distance friend, who was dear to me personally.

This was the message and a letter from my dear friend,............

Hello fellow Steemians, wow…… It’s really good to be here again after a very long break. Don’t mind me, have been very busy with life, works, school, and all sort of things. But right now I’m down emotionally, I’m hurt, is like my heart is going to come out of me, I usually taught all those feelings I do watch in movies were not real not until I experience it myself.

Everything that has hit me in life I’ve dealt with on my own. I’ve cried myself to sleep, picked myself back up and wiped my own tears. I have grown from things meant to break me. So why will a man treat me this way??? It was because I simply forgot the quotes that says

“ Never get too attached to sumone, because attachments lead to expectations and expectations leads to disappointment.”

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I am a woman, and there is limit to how much I will take. If you lie to me, wrong me or treat me like I don’t matter….. I’m done! I am not a difficult woman at all. I am simply a strong woman and I know my worth, I’m a woman who is able to smile this morning like I wasn’t crying last night…… I don’t seek revenge, I move on and let karma do my dirty work.

“A strong woman will automatically stop trying if she feels unwanted. She won’t fix it or beg, she will just walk away.”

I’m a woman that knows my worth, I don’t measure myself against another woman, but stands strong, calm and self-confident. Have always remembered that my present situation is not my final destination. My best is yet to come. If as a single woman a man cannot appreciate and value you and respect you for who you are then you are doom if you marry that kind of man because your marriage will be hell on earth.
Ok, wait let me not put you guys in the dark.

This is what really happened……In my 100level days, a guy approached me even without knowing how he got my contact he contacted me and introduced himself as my fellowship member and also same 100level student, I wasn’t really shocked about how he got my contact because you know guys they can go to any length when they are after something. We both started communicating and he later express his mind that he likes me and he would want me to be his girl friend, my replied then was that I don’t want a boyfriend because the so call boyfriend is attached with many responsibility you have to meet up with, so I had to tell him then that we can only be friends for now but maybe in the next two or three years I can now be ready we never can tell. And we both agreed to be friends.

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We were both communicating for six months without seeing each other, just calling and chatting since we were on ASUU strike then and with that I started developing some kind of funny feelings that if I didn’t call or text him for a day I won’t be alright. We resumed back to school after a very long break, seeing him again make me realized have grown to like him so much, we both started behaving like a boyfriend and girlfriend when we are not one we like each other so much that we hardly go a day without seeing each other. But to my greatest surprise, he just left all of a sudden without leaving a word if he is still coming back or not. But I wouldn’t mind that since we were just friends so he is free to go, even despite the fact that he left me we still communicate once in a while, we greeted each other when we meet, we laugh together and chat atimes.

Amidst the separation, I met a guy which we dated for almost two years but we later break up due to his NYSC, distance and not understanding each other. Not long after, I started receiving messages from one of my facebook friends which have being ignoring for a very long time , the guy lives in my area in lagos and I school in Oyo State and we decided to hook up and be friends with each other and no longer on facebook.

The guy wanted a wife and not a girl friend and how is it possible to be a wife with someone you just met, but I have my rules, lets be friends and let us see how things go along the way, that was my replied then. I think with that I gave him the permission to care about me and loved me the way he want even though I don’t love nor have any feelings for him, but I really tried not to hurt him since I was just letting him have his way.

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If you are still going along with me, you will remember I still have a friend I put aside, my so call 100level friend days. During all this period we do still communicate with each other as friends. Has fate will have his way, our communication level increased, we started reminding ourselves how much we liked each other then hoping that we can still be close like before, we started meeting each other , visiting each other and along the way our old feelings started developing back without any word we started our old acting boyfriend and girl friend. We grown to like each other even more that before that he started acting acting like the man in my life getting jealous on any calls I received, going through my phones everytime and get angry each time my facebook friend calls. He was acting weird that I beginning to wonder what was happening. So we decided to talk and I realized he wasn’t ready for a commitment but just want to stay around me because we both think we are good like that, we couldn’t let go of each other, each time we are about to let go and just go our different ways we will burst into tears like a baby…..its funny right!!!!

All of a sudden, he couldn’t take it and decided to act like a man telling me that he is now ready that I should make a choice between my facebook friend and him making me to see reason why I should stay with him that there is no man on earth that can love me the way he does that my facebook friend is just deceiving me and going on saying all sort of things just for me to stay with him. And during all this time, I’ve already fallen for my friend that I had to lied for my facebook friend that we are not compactible and he should forget about me and let it go.

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So what next, I was now left with only him, just him only……..i loved him so much that it was all written all over me thinking that was what I needed most in my life, we do everything together, each time I sees him I’m always happy, when he’s happy I am, when he’s sad I am, even if I’m hungry so far he’s okay I’m okay too, I was so foolish that I let him used me to achieved his aims and purpose, went visiting his family and I was so rest assured that even if this guy is going to disappoint me the worst he could do is after our days here on campus he would stop calling me due to d fact that its normal for guys to forget where they are coming from when they get out there most especially during NYSC , so I was so relaxed and busy fallen in love and I got carried away with every moment I’m enjoying with him that I let him have his way by dis-virgin me thinking that I’m doing this for the man I loved so much so I should have no regret.

Not knowing that during all this time this guys was busy chasing men away from me he was also busy flirting with a girl that was like a sister to both of us right inside my shop. When I noticed the both of them together I asked him and he didn’t denied the fact that he is flirting with her that he wasn’t serious with it just playing around and he told me not to worry myself over something that is not real not knowing I was just being played and he has already had his way into the girls heart…..

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This same guy that will be crying inside my room then all because I didn’t let him have his way just wake up one day and tell me he needed a break, he is tired, he need space, im inconvienting him, I shouldn’t tie him down, he is not ready for a relationship now so I should go my way, I shouldn’t force myself on him, that I should assume he is dead and move on. Please what I mine supposed to do then, I should kill myself right because I’ve given him all I owe in life, he is now going around with this girl, practically living with her, even to then point of bringing her to the same fellowship we both attend so that I could see and I will go and kill myself…. Telling me he didn’t force me to pick him over my Facebook friend that I only made my choice so I should live with it…….

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please is it a crime to curse that kind of man even without me cursing him, is he not already cursed……. He suck my breast like he suck his mother’s own, his mother blooded and griped her teeth when giving birth to him and I did the same when he was taking my virginity why wondering around my life when you know you have nothing to offer me, why sending men away from me, can’t you just tell me then that all you wanted was to have your way with me and go. Why make me shed tears and live in agony for months, why making me wondering around like I’m hopeless. Won’t he also shed tears later in life, and labor in vein.

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Men should atimes pity the mother that gave birth to them and let them eat the fruit of their labors by not letting flesh and that thing below them control them.
I know some people will say its normal for guys to have their ways and just go, I think it is also normal for a man to live a miserable life due to his actions also. Since it was him that said pain is part of life and it’s also part of experience so I pray he too experience pain in life. I hope that’s not a curse........

Thanks for reading through my story; I’m very happy I could share this because I’m on my way forward leaving everything behind.

I don’t want to be a prisoner of my past. I want to see it just as a lesson and not a life sentence..............but am not sending this post to make anyone feel somehow but to let someone learn there lesson from my experience, thanks so much for reading.

THANKS!!!

Asoju.