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RE: BIG RED at GROUND ZERO... a new post-apocalyptic story

in #story7 years ago

This is an extremely well written Agenda 21 scenario. The conversational tone is easy to get into. It helps that the narrator is likeable, seems real and is also edgy; you want to listen to his story.

You've also planted lots of hooks in the first few paragraphs: Who's 'big brother'? What's Deep State done? Why are we experiencing this apocalyptic state? How does the narrator know to get out? Who's the 'contact'? Why was the gear already packed (does he know or is he a paranoid type)? 'IT'?

'Dunch' – nice!

Really liked this. You're good, man.
Anj x

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Wow, some of that is unintentional, I guess I can use that to my advantage ;) One struggles with adding in these bits and leaving them out. Less is More, IMO.
Glad you liked my meal term, I think 'linner' has been over done :D

Having those 'hook planting' instincts is certainly a bonus in creative writing.

I've never heard of 'linner' either but I prefer 'dunch' anyways :D