Alethea shook the small globe again as the flecks of white began to pile on the house inside. As she held it a few inches from her face, she watched the current pull the "snow" into a spiral of white once again. Slowly, the flecks began to settle and float down. The woods Alethea sat in were silent, and for a moment she was brought back to her childhood when they had lived in the mountains. The last time she had seen snow was before they had moved to Florida, 5 years ago. Nestled in the Ocala national forest, the small group of homes she resided in was about all she ever saw. She knew she would get her ass whoopin for sneaking out again, just like she knew it was worth it. On this afternoon she was her own person, free of the dogma of the community. Over that last few years she had snuck out periodically and built the refuge she sat in now out of old plywood and a small tree she had cut down. Hidden by a patch of gigantic ferns, her sanctuary was the only secret she kept from her family. There wasn't much inside, a bean bag chair found in the rafters of the barn served as the center piece. On a shelf made of two stacked milk crates sat a grubby journal, an unopened can of Coke, a pocket knife, and usually the globe. These were the few items she had managed to salvage from her stepfather's rampages. Oh, and there were the paper cranes of course- a pile of 978 to be exact.
Five years ago they lived in Crestone Colorado, a beautiful town surrounded by mountains. Her Mother had never married, and told Alethea honestly that she didn't know who her father was. She expressed this in a way that made it clear she had no regrets. They were partners, and adventured together in the mountains while plotting their next temple visit. Crestone has a 100,000 acre area known as the Bacca- given to spiritual centers in a land grant. On a narrow path leading up into the mountains, you can take many a steep hill to varied spiritual centers. Eventually part of the Bacca grant became residential, and that was where they lived with 14 other women. A few years back her mother had dated a man named Greg, who turned abusive shortly after he had moved into their house. Her Mother tried to fix things, took the abuse to heart and truly felt worthless she told Alethea later. After Greg had thrown a lamp at Alethea one night, something in her Mom snapped and she found the courage to leave. That was how Crestone found them, and took them into a women's refuge when they arrived at 2am. Since then, her Mother had been on a path of exploring faith and allowing it to soothe the trauma of the past. Enter Daniel.
Daniel was just so damn charming at first, Alethea had encouraged her Mom to get back out there and give him a chance! He was tall and handsome for an older guy she cooed, come on Mom just go on a date she had said. What a fuck up I am she thought ruefully as she shook the globe once more. Snow... she missed the clarity of snow. Daniel had moved fast proposing to her Mother after six months, first asking for 12 year old Alethea's blessing. Banners saying Daniel & Tanya were delivered shortly, the date cemented three months in the future. Her mother came into her room one night before bed, sitting next to her and smoothing her hair over with a careless hand. Touching her flat belly gingerly, she lit up and told Alethea that she was pregnant. Everything seemed idyllic and beautiful for a time.
Half way through that school year, Tanya was swollen in her 7th month of pregnancy- twins it turned out. Tired and unable to put shoes on her water logged feet, she informed Alethea that they would be moving to Florida- No, not after the baby. Next week they would meet Daniel down at their new house, he would leave tomorrow to get everything ready. It wasn't up for debate, and Alethea was going to have to fit whatever she wanted to bring in her suit case. This was going to be a good change, she said.
Their house was actually a double wide trailer, with a few rooms built onto it. Mustard yellow striped with a relieving solid brown, the trailer was fairly nice inside. They had wood floors now- she remembered how happy that had made her as she eyed the can of Coke on the shelf. It had been menacing her for the last 6 visits, daring her to open it. Last month Daniel had gone on a rant about the dangers of sugar, after drinking a bottle of whiskey. He loomed over Alethea and her young sisters as he watched them dump all of the soda down the toilet, his breath stinging their eyes. He didn't know about the stash though, hidden behind Alethea's shoes. She was only allowed to drink one a day, but the neighbor boy Michael would sometimes give her a few in some bizarre mating ritual. Eventually Daniel caught her, and whipped her with his belt for "insisting on dark ways" but not before she had brought 3 to her hideout. A few days later she saw Michael peeking out at her from his bedroom window, his face swollen and purple. When he made eye contact with her, he quickly withdrew behind his curtains. He hadn't spoken to her since.
Five years had seen the formation of what she knew to be a cult, why did no one else see it? She understood why her sisters who wouldn't turn five for a few more months, accepted Daniel. Why did everyone in their cluster of houses respect Daniel? Her mother was pregnant again, and beamed with admiration when he held the daily prayer. She cheered when he burned forbidden items, and never spoke out against his drinking. In return he treated her as a valued pet, guiding and deciding for her. Tanya was pampered by him, and seemed not to notice when he beat Alethea or the girls. Angie didn't speak but Mary was her opposite, chatting non-stop about bible verses and miracles. She would proclaim that things were miracles constantly, a bag of popcorn exploding into being was evidence of the divine to her. Sometimes Angie cried when Mary got worked up, this to she did silently. During the prayer that took place in the barn every morning at 8am, Mary would sing and everyday Angie would smile. Alethea couldn't think of another time the stoic child had smiled, yet she knew Mary hadn't always been this way.
A sigh broke the silence as Alethea learned over and swapped the globe for the journal, tucked within it's pages was a pack of origami paper. As she selected a purple sheet she focused: 979. She called to the universe as she folded each crease with muscle memory guiding her, help. Get my siblings out of here, free my Mother she wished. An expertly folded crane soared towards the pile in a momentary arc, and joined the others. Another sheet was selected, and the process started over. Get me out of here. Let me feel the snow again. For perhaps an hour she sat with her wish, as 1,000 moved closer to completion. At 999 she stopped, it is said that someone who completes 1,000 cranes will receive a wish. The sun was setting, and a feeling of dread had begun to crawl across her skin. Next time she decided, would be the day to make her wish.
As she crawled out of her sanctuary, a noise stopped her. She moved slowly, careful to remain silent as she crept to a vantage point of the trail ahead. She peeked out cautiously and ducked back down when she saw the two men. She recognized them as forest Rangers, and knew they would mess with her if they saw she was from the Fellowship. As they walked past she caught a bit of conversation "Told them it wasn't needed, all kids after all..." and from the other man "Well, at least they're getting it done- about damn time..." the voices trailed off. She waited for a few minutes, before running home. No one smart wanders those woods alone at night if they can help it, and a distant howl quickened Alethea's feet. Panting, she arrived at the back of the Fellowship barn and peered out from a corner careful not to activate the motion censor light. A sea green house that had been empty for as long as she could remember was illuminated, and Daniel could be seen talking to a young woman holding a baby through a window. Alethea crept to the area just outside of the motion censor's boundary and sprinted to the side of her house, keeping her eyes trained on Daniel the whole time. As she reached cover once again she found her bedroom window open, as she had left it and crawled through. She climbed into to bed and waited. Miraculously, as she heard Daniel come through the front door he asked if she was still asleep- he didn't know she left!! Elated, she listened carefully for him to sit down at the TV and the click of a beer can opening that always followed. Within an hour he would be asleep, then she would find something to eat. As she ran her hands over her bald head she pondered going back to make her wish tomorrow.
Before Alethea's 16th birthday Daniel had buzzed her hair off, to help her maintain a pious path. Once, it had been a cascade of golden blonde and touched her shoulder blades. A few brief moments passed, and a knock on her door barely proceed it's opening. Tanya peeked in "Hey baby, you feeling okay?" she asked in a soft voice as she took a seat on the edge of Alethea's bed. Pretending to have just woken up she nodded. "Good honey, I have some news for you. With your 17th birthday coming up, Daniel has decided it is time you were married. I couldn't agree more!" she finished with a dazzling smile. Something was on top of Alethea's chest- she couldn't breathe. "shh baby, Don't worry about it right now. I'll bring you something to eat." With soup her mother delivered the news that Chet Baker was to be her husband. Chet was a greasy man with yellow crooked teeth that he only concealed when he spit from the dip that he kept in his gums. He was 43, and had a 7 year old daughter- Tanya didn't give her a chance to respond to this information. "Eat." she commanded before leaving the room. Early the next morning Alethea was still sitting in contemplation, the dinner her Mother had brought untouched on the nightstand.
Before morning prayer, it was announced that they had new residents. Ashley, her squashed face baby, and small son Gabrielle were introduced, and everyone lined up to hug them. When Alethea leaned in to hug Ashley, the baby in her arms puked. Miraculously Alethea was able to miss the first 15 minutes of the prayer, as she went home to change. That is when she noticed the first odd thing. On a hill about 300 feet away she spied a man laying in some brush, holding binoculars to his face. She tried to pull of an expression of simply looking around enjoying the day onto her face, as she returned to the barn. Daniel smiled as she returned and nodded with pride as she sat back down next to her siblings in the women's row. "Homosexuality is a sickness that forces good men to turn from their duties as fathers. It is meant to test those of us who walk with our lord, to abandon our faith and throw aside His great gift of family." he continued, with whoops of support from the crowd. The arrival of Ashley's clan had brought their number to 24. Nine of this 24 lived next door. Michael had six siblings ranging in age from his oldest brother Marcus who was 15, to his 6 month old sister Elizabeth. In a gray trailer at the edge of their small village, lived Marco and his four children. His oldest was Brent, the only male who had turned 18 last week. The three daughters were 11, 13, and 16 and hardly spoke. They kept their eyes cast down at all times, and had never uttered a peep to Alethea.
Around 11 Daniel announced that he was going into town, and reluctantly agreed to bring Mary with him. As soon as the dust had settled on the dirt road, Alethea made her brake for the trees. Ten minutes later, she opened the Coke after settling into the bean bag chair. With anticipation she pulled sheet 1,000, and began to focus as her hands found the familiar folds. Free my Mother, and get us out of here. As she held the completed crane, a bang echoed, stirring the birds from the trees. She scrambled outside, knocking the Coke over. The Fellowship was about half a mile away, and thick smoke was billowing from it's direction. She glanced back into her sanctuary, and noticed the pile of cranes was gone. She didn't take the time to marvel at this just yet, she was running as fast as she could back home instinctively. As the flames came into view, so did the police blockade. A man who's face was covered by a riot shield intercepted her, tackling her to the ground. The sound of gun fire was deafening. "There are children in there!" she heard herself scream. Then everything happened in a blur. Daniel appeared in the family's baby blue truck, crashing into a group of men. An immediate response of fire hit the car, and Daniel screamed out to his people. "Shoot these evil bastards" could be heard in the seconds before the bullets hit. Later 346 rounds would be counted, and Daniel would be in critical but stable condition. Mary was not so lucky. As if he had summoned her, Tanya appeared screaming running towards the truck, a shot to her shoulder answered and she fell to the ground. Alethea passed out, the man in riot gear faded away.
In an empty makeshift shelter half a mile away, a can of Coke was spilling onto the ground with an enthusiastic gurgle soaking into the dirt. It could be said that Tanya was free now, such is the risk of a wish. Alethea would tell Angie someday when she asked, that their Mother had died so Mary didn't have to take the journey on her own. Over cups of hot cocoa, the two would sit and watch the snow and Angie was generous with her smiles.
This dark story was inspired in part by a Ted Talk from a woman who had left a religious cult, luckily in a situation without violence. I included the paper crane legend after being intrigued by a friend who told me the story, and was working towards 1,000. All three photos come from Wikipedia. Both Crestone Colorado, and Ocala national forest are places I've visited that stuck with me. Thanks for reading!
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Damn, compelling read.
I don't even know what else to say.
Well done.
Thank you so much!
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