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The VP of @ssg-community is currently at 99% and climbing. Usually I would cast a few "self upvotes" on ssg-community comments, but for now I can't.
So to stop our VP going to waste, simply tell me a joke below and get an upvote.
° only for ssg members
° ill keep upvoting till I lower our vp to an acceptable level.
°comments will be listed by time posted and earliest gets upvoted first.
READY, SET, GO!!
Q: Where did the mermaid and the fisherman meet?
A: Online
🧜🏼♀️🧜🏼♀️🧜🏼♀️ You must’a been holding on to that one! 😜🤣😂
Google was holding it for me. 😂
Stick out your head (from your shoulders) and spell out loud: I met
😜🤣
Knock knock
Who is there?
Cows go
OK, I see where this is going... And yes 8 did laugh... But I'll play along!
Cows go who?
No silly, cows go mooo 🐄
KK: who’s there?
“I got up”
😂
⚡️
💩
Here's an old one,
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
And then there's the geeky coder / cryptography take on it...
Two hashes walk into a bar. One was a salted.
There are 10 types of people in the world...
Q: What happened to the little Indian Boy after he drank 100 gallons of tea?
A: He drowned in his Teapee!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
A man goes to his Dr and tells him "Doc I think I'm shrinking!" To which the Dr replied, "You'll just have to be a little patient."
The Bloody Raven 'Parrotphrases'
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. They talk about their adventures on the sea.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”
The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”
“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about your hook”?
“Well”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”
“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch”?
“A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate.
“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.
“Well,” said the pirate, “it was my first day with the hook.”
The Bloody Raven's Morbid humor dept Source
LMAO
Laugh if you want, but it took me two weeks to earn 20 Cents here on Steemit...
@pocketechange February 15, 2019...
A person walks in toa NoSQL Bar and inmediatly walks away, do you know why?
There were no tables :P
Question: What do you get when you cross a snake with a tasty dessert?
Answer. A pie-thon. 😆😆
Posted using Partiko Android
A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.
Posted using Partiko Android
What did the burger name her daughter?
What is white and black and read all over?
What did the triangle say to the circle?
Hahahaa my kid tells me jems like these all the time.
Posted using Partiko Android
What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nachyo cheese
Posted using Partiko iOS
q- why don't mice have very big balls?
a- not many mice know how to dance
Why did the banana 🍌 go to the doctor ?👨⚕️
He was not “peeling” well..
Posted using Partiko iOS
How do you top a car?
Tep on the brake, tupid.
It is not fair, because I only know jokes in Portuguese and if I tell you, you would not understand it.
A father with two daughters crosses the Sahara in a jeep when 40 robbers come out of a duststorm and take away all they have.
The father says after the robbers are gone "we are lost without a compass and a map, we are doomed" but daughter one says"no, i have the compass, I put it in my knickers" and daughter two says "I stil have the map, I too put it in my knickers".
"Damn" says the father "if your mother would be here we would still have had the jeep too"
A young Scotsman went out on the town and drank far too much. The young man passed out and fell into a deep sleep.
While he slept, a young woman came upon the drunken Scotsman. She looked all about and saw no one else around and thought it would be a fine opportunity to find out for herself the age old question: what does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?
Gently she lifted up the kilt and saw only what God had given the Scotsman. Being a mischievous young lady, she took a blue ribbon from her hair and tied it about the Scotsman's manhood.
When the young Scot awoke in the morning he went to a near by tree to relieve himself. When he lifted his kilt he saw the blue ribbon and cried out:
"I don't know where you've been laddie, BUT I see you won FIRST PRIZE!"
I will tell a joke only if you lick your elbow.