None of us want our kids to grow up to be entitled jerks. Yet the current rate of statistics has our kids tumbling down the liberal road of dependence on pretty much anything other then themselves.

It's sad. I believe in 10-20 years we are going to scroll through different parents social media pages and see pictures like the one above. Our kids on full display in the glory of their youth, speaking about how 'cute, awesome, studly' they kids are...only to be shocked at their current state of entitled 20 something youth's, strapped with debt, looking to everyone to solve their problems, contributing minimally to society.

maybe a little harsh...and most of us when reading that will say 'obviously, that will not be my kids...'

obviously...

I for one want to build up my 4 little world changers to write history in a positive way, be awesome and have a foundation that is even better then the one my parents laid out for me...and one of the ways that I believe is critical for achieveing that is helping our kids learn to fail.

In my more formative years, I was presented with this idea of failing forward. Up to that point in my life I had rarely had any real defeats in my life. Any place of insecurity or perceived failure I was pretty skilled at masking, and putting something forward that was accepted by those around me. As a result I rarely had any growth in my life. The only thing growing was my make believe image that I was trying to convince everyone around me of.

Eventually things crumbled, and I spent several years of my life trying to recover...painful...yet the term Failing Forward made all the difference.

I begin to understand that as I actually put effort and resources into something the product or outcome was something that I had increased value for. That that outcome then interacted with others, I would take people's response and learn from it. For the most part they would either reject it, or validate it. Both of which I would then mentally log away and use as feedback for my own personal growth.

Take for example the 1st time I dropped out of college.

My make believe image I was trying to hold up to everyone was coming unglued, I snapped, and said peace out everyone (in a fairly violent, aggressive, agitated way). My thought was that everyone would reject me. When that didn't happen, i began logging away all of these inputs from different people (especially my family) and started learning that I didn't need to fake anything anymore.

2 years later I then dropped out of college a 2nd time.

This go around I was kind, I got input before hand, had conviction on why I was dropping out - but ultimately my behavior of leaving 'higher education' was the same. And largely the response was the same, only I took people's input of my perceived failure and logged it away for mental assessment. The result I am more convinced then ever of the indoctrination in our 'higher education' is not really helpful.

The point being failure is made up in our own minds. I graduated college at the age of 31, I started at the age of 18. I have credits from 5 institutions. My success in as a human being has nothing to do with my graduating college. It has everything to do with all the failures along the way that have helped shape me into who I am today, and what I am contributing to society.

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It is paramount that we teach this to our kids. Help your child embrace thier consequence!

My kids do chores. Anything from loading the dishwasher, vacuuming, picking up the house etc. What happens when they choose not to do them? Do I actually allow them to embrace the consequence?

What happens when they choose to throw a fit in the chore process? Do I just ignore them and allow them to pout?

We also give our kids an allowance. $1 per year old every month. So my 9 year old gets $9/month. My 8 year old is currently enticed by a little $30 safe with a key. I understand that if I allow him to order this thing, he will probably lock his pokemon cards in the safe and then lose the key....not going to be a great day for me.

I have a 6 year old that wants a phone real bad. He also wants to buy the first thing he sees at any given store at any given point.

Do we rescue our kids from their choices? Or do we allow them to embrace the pain from their choices? painful now, but what is it actually teaching them?

In helping teach my kids to fail, I have to help them deal with the consequences of their choices.

I have one aggressive kid. My 3 y/o. He is a total bro, loves the dirt, wrestling etc. He also hits. When he does hit, people tend not to like him (especially his siblings). My wife and I have helped him learn not by telling him what to do. But by allowing him to feel the consequences of hitting. Helping him see that when he hits people do not want to be around him, have helped develop some conviction in his little 3 y/o heart that.

Now he shows (at times) some self control. When he feels ignored or missed his behavior has moved from jumping on you or hitting you, to actually using his words to communicate.

In Conclusion

Do not tell your kids what to do, allow them to face the consequences of their choices. Their brains are incredible and conviction from experience will be a better teacher then someones slightly frustrated commands at them.

Be Mom and Dad - you are the only one and the best one to train up your kids!

Thanks for reading...live big and way to parent - it matters!