We all have our fears. Some of us have fear of heights, dolls, dogs, thunder, and etc. I fear being alone, I fear being left behind and I fear blood so much. These fears of mine started when I was a kid, I feared being alone because of my experience back then that a friend of mine who lived in our house for almost a year left, she's the only friend I have. Since the day she left, I don't have anyone to talk to whenever I need someone to talk to. She was my happy pill, my chika buddy but right now all my thoughts are stucked in my head. All the insecurities, sadness, frustrations are in my head, I wanted to open up to someone so that he/she could understand me but no one does except my bestfriend who left me.
At that time, I was so down. I wanted to talk to dad about my thoughts but he as well, left me without permission. He didn't literally left me, he's present but I don't feel his presence as my second chika buddy. And again, the thoughts are running through my head, why am I always being left behind? I cried each day. I have no one. My mom's working, my brothers are having their own business. I am worthless.
A year after, I started gaining friends and dad is also back! my buddy is back, I was still confused that time but now I understand. I gained a lot of friends, my life is getting better not until someone called my mom and told her that daddy was stabbed somewhere by someone he doesn't know. Mom was freaking out and my brother and I started crying.. Noooo, bloods are running through my mind. No I hate blood, I hate blood.. Mom leave us to take care of dad, we prayed to God for his guide and protection. When everything's going fine, we visited the hospital and I saw my buddy lying in the bed with a tube that is connected to his lungs to get all the waste from his blood.. And again, I saw blood.. I panicked and felt dizzy. After those experiences, I started to fear those things :((
Yet, we all know that we can face our fears no matter how hard it is and no matter how it hurts for us to remember the reasons behind. I thank God for giving me my fears which is making me strong everyday😊💕
