great post, makes perfect sense to me. even the older me hates being told what to do.
ask me to fold your laundry? ugh.
see it sitting there and feel like helping (because I like to be useful ; ) done.
having a choice makes a big difference. of course, you could, like me, test your choices if you say no. yeah, I was that kid. offer me a choice but no isn't acceptable? then it isn't a choice! hopefully you don't run into that kid. lol. but if you did, have you an answer to the Rose that doesn't pick up the coat?
They always do, my young Jedi. I'm serious. What starts as "your coat is on the floor" can turn into "Rose, your coat fell out of your cubby" and then "See? It's there on the floor." BIG pauses in between is very important. If still no, I will join Rose. "Let's take a look. Ooo. Look! Leia's coat is in her cubby, Finn has his coat in his cubby. Oops! (gasp) Look Rose! Your coat is on the floor!" I'm telling you, I've never been let down. I always let them work through it. It's so much fun!
i love the approach. I totally believe in the good in people, that it is at our core.. I've had a few opportunities to talk to my nephew when he was upset, and used language he could understand and it worked. I got the idea from somewhere that children had the same intelligence but no experience. and what you seem to be doing is helping them to use their own minds, getting them to see the problem, and getting them to fix it... I love it. vast improvement over order them to do something without getting them to see why. I'm guessing your corrections result in longer term results (not that they won't need to be reminded again...).