An Ultimate Guide How to Make Money on Steemit: Stop Blogging About Things You Like.

I feel obligated to write tips for all the newcomers and people who want to be rich. This topic is trending at the moment, and I want want to fit in any community for once in my life... I also like moneyz. So, let's get started.

First, we need to determine if you want to be rich or do something meaningful and satisfying with your life? Second... what kind of yacht do you want to buy?

So, now when you know your goal here on Steemit, let me help you achieve it. I consider myself to be a semi-successful blogger as I make some money but never go full trending, so don't get your expectations too high.

1. Don't write about things you like. Only write about things that others (with a lot of SP) like. I am not a hypocrite myself, so to prove the point, I am writing this post instead of babbling about some philosophical "are you a thief if you rob from another thief?" question. (note to myself: remember to write a post about thieves, it sounds interesting.)

2. I found poems to be the least interesting thing of all... or it is just me who suck at poetry... or people don't understand my great talents.

Roses are red,
violets are blue
poems cannot buy you a yacht
m00n.

1. Take care of all the little details before posting your article. For instance, if it is a listicle make sure that every entry is numbered properly. People don't like inconsistency.

2. Make contest and give away 10% of the earnings from your contest announcing post. People love contests. Actually, I love contests too, and there is no irony in it. Contests make us all rich, so take that opportunity. "Why don't you make any contests, Writingamigo?" you might ask. I am too lazy, I guess... but I will one day... I will...

3. At first, write long posts to attract more people who will think that your posts carry a lot of quality because... because they are long. Ideally, you should write like 2,000 words so that people would not even have the motivation to start reading.
   

4. Timing is essential. Try posting your stuff when people in Europe are still awake, and Americans are on their lunch break. This one is a serious advice, people.

5. Only say positive things no matter what. Any constructive criticism won't work. Yup, only say good things and if that means abandoning your beliefs, you still gotta do it for money.

6. Use @randowhale to promote your stuff. Nobody is paying me anything for this advertisement, but I honestly think that stuff is pretty cool. Also, it will make your posts look cooler when the pending payout is not 0.01 cent.

7. Add some pictures. This one works everywhere on the internet. People these days are lazy, so reading is not exactly what they want to do. Rule number 5 is still important. You know, fake it till you make it and all that stuff.
   
   make sure to use cats

8. Be patient. Oh, wait... I forgot it is an ironic post... Don't be patient. If you don't get paid for your first 2 articles, rage quit instantly and tell everyone that Steemit is a scam.

P.S. I still think that we should only blog about stuff we like. And that is what I am going to do for the rest of my life. Why? As Ostap Bender once said, "You don't need money, you have no imagination." I think he was talking about me!