Wow is hard to believe you do not write in English. In this case congratulations as you have done a very good job! Keep on posting! I am sure you have many interesting things to write about. If you feel the necessity to have those "gems" I'm sure you will have the courage, but you are only obtaining pain from this is it really worth it to dig in the past ? Whatever you decide be courageous and keep motivated so that you can motivate others like me!