Well done, @tryskele. I'm so proud of you!
I don't remember whether you were once one of my Redfish Rockets or not, but I do remember the post in which I met you first.
I was feeling all down because summer had started and I wasn't able to do anything, because the last surgery had not been so long ago, and somehow I can across your second or third Mindfulness Monday post. I remember how it felt reading it: it was like you had written it for me. It was so spot on, and helped me to realize not all hope was lost.
Then, I assume it was some time after HF20, you seemed to have disappeared and although we hadn't been really close, I missed you. I'm glad you returned and found the will and strength to push through.
Your efforts paid off. I was so proud when @naturalmedicine picked up your Mindful Monday posts :0)
A couple of months ago, I decided to make sure your SP would be above 500 all the time, until you had gathered your own. Simply because I like(d) you, and your posts. It mad me happy to see I could retract a part of my delegation every so often because you were getting closer to that 500 SP mark.
I think I retracted it completely 2 or 3 weeks ago, because you reaching minnowhood was just a matter of days.
I should actually pick up on your mindfulness posts again. I think the first one I read was about meditation, and I wasn't ready for that back then. (If I'm not mistaking, you gave me the idea of coloring books in the comments section of that post. have bought a couple, but haven't colored yet, lol)
My mindset is a lot more positive than it was back then, so it might be a good thing to start following up again.
(Now if only I would have the time to clean up my feed, it would be easier to not miss them. I've set you up in Gina, but I rarely find the time to follow up on my Gin notifications. I should really find another way to be notified when you post.)
Anyway, I just checked your wallet, and noticed the 500SP mark has been crossed.
Keep on Steemin'!!!
Aww 😊 Get to coloring!! LOL. I haven't in a while and I know I need to. I was one of your Redfish Rockets @headchange was with me. It was that delegation that brought me back to life so to speak after HF20. Since then, things have had a decent growth rate.
It makes me feel really good when I hear anything I write touches someone. It means more coming from you and I think you know the answer to that. That is/and has been my goal with those posts. You're not alone and you don't need to suffer alone. Someone out there understands and wants to help. I admit I haven't been able to join in like I want to
Don't worry about the meditation thing either. It's not for some people. I'm 50/50 on it. Too much going on in my brain to turn off and have some peace. When I am able to experience it, I feel so much better. You should try one of our Discord sessions. Next one is Sat 8:30pm London time. I should be on for that one. Those are longer but on Wed is 30 mins. If anything just sit and listen, it's good energy. If I can meditate I do, If I can't I just sit and listen. It is wonderful just being around others that don't judge, that are supportive because that's who they are not because of any pre-tense. Maybe I'll get my mic fixed LOL.
I agree about cleaning up the feed. I have things I want to see, but then there are others that seem to push everyone else down. My Gina is narrowed down, but doesn't seem to catch everything I want it to LOL
Again thank you so very much @simplymike. You have a genuine heart, you help because you want to, not because it is asked for or expected. It is not a quality many have. You do bring light to this world, at least to mine. I'm proud to have you as a friend.
Thanks... and likewise 😉
Aaah, @headchange.... I do miss her being around. I just checked... it has already been 6 months since she left. :0(
I've always hoped she'd return some day, but I guess I can forget about that...
I've learned that this is so important: knowing that you're not the only one, that other people are struggling (or have struggled) with the same things, and they get what you're going through.
I used to keep everything to myself. As a result, there were many things for which I considered myself to be different, and assumed people wouldn't get why i acted in a certain way, or why I felt something I thought I wasn't supposed to feel.
It's this place that taught me to open up about things, in real life too. And it is só funny to discover that half of my friends are dealing with exactly the same issues - but we didn't know about the others, because we never talked about our 'stuff' and all thought no one would understand.
About the meditation thing... It was only last week or so that I read about how for some people, meditation can turn out wrong. I don't remember the exact context, but I do remember people had nightmares, and went way downhill afterwards (this was about the meditation 'courses' for which people leave to india and stuff - to go sit on a mountain for a couple of weeks.)
I didn't know that. I thought the worst that could happen was being bored and uncomfortable... Apparently not.
Who knows, I might even tune in on a Discord session ... you made me pretty curious 😉
I am glad you're learning to open up. I'm learning too. I still think if anyone really knew what goes on in my head they wouldn't want to talk to me. Heck, sometimes I don't even want to talk to me. To me having someone to talk to that actually understands what this is like is priceless.
This is why I post what I do. We shouldn't be afraid of talking about our 'demons' or 'stuff' I try to look at things this way. What has happened is what has shaped us into who we are, it's a part of us. We can't take that away and sometimes I do think, why would I want to? Everything in my life has set me on the path I am on. While I am not in the best place in my life, there are things that I don't want changed.
I have read loads of stories on how meditation has gone wrong. For someone like me to sit quietly with my own thoughts....BAD, very bad idea. Most of the time. My goal is to not think, to learn how to turn my mind off. If I could that I would be one happy girl. I might even learn how to sleep. That's why I like SMG, @bewithbreath keeps it very simple, clear your mind and focus on your breath. One question he poses which is a great way to gauge yourself in general. "Are you breathing in or are you breathing out?' If you are doing the whoosh breath out because of life, it's time to take a step back and collect yourself. I was wrong about the time. Its 8:30 pm on Wed and 5:30pm on Sat (London time) I am trying to make it a regular part of my routine at least once a week.
I've know/known people who have done the retreats. Most of them are 'practiced' they know what they are doing and have been living this lifestyle. It isn't anything I could do, maybe in 30 years and hopefully by then, I'm too old to care.
Sorry, a little chatty today. 🤗
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Sorry to hear about wolfhart - RIP.
Good Luck with your target.
Love your energy, openness and honesty. It’s always nice to have you in the virtual Meditation Hall - to share the energy and healing.
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Don't worry... sorry for the delay. i haven't been really chatty these last couple of days.
Everything you say is so recognizable
Same here. It has a lot of influence on the perception I have of myself. I definitely don't like myself in the same way others seem to do. (But of course, they don't know what's going on in my head, lol).
I don't really have a high level of self-worth, but that's a bit of a contradiction, because I try to deal with things from the past in the way you say:
Exactly. I even hear myself say it to others. And then I start questioning whether I really have such a low self-esteem, because the sentence above proves I'm pretty happy with who I turned out to be. It really confuses me sometimes, and then I keep going over it again and again in my head. Analyzing myself, one of the few things I'm extremely good at. 24/7, 365 days a year. Questioning everything, trying to find a reason or cause, and then I start questioning the questioning and analyzing and I get completely lost in my head.
For a couple of weeks now, I've been talking to a therapist, trying to get out of that neverending merry-go-round in my head. Surprisingly, she understands a whole lot - something I had not expected.
I already knew I was a highly sensitive person, but she told me to take a couple of tests, and I scored extremely high on every single HSP test.
I was never taught how to deal with emotions, and because of the HSP, there's a truckload of input every day, since I pick up every small signal from other people. I now realize that, over the years, I developed the analyzing and the overthinking and just going round and round in my head as a form of self-defense. I try to rationalize everything I feel so it can't get to me and I won't have to deal with it emotionally.
But knowing is one thing... putting things into practice is an entirely different thing. But working on it... in my head, for now, lol - where else??
Sorry, I got sidetracked, and actually forgot the point I wanted to make ... it's been a very busy day in my head - chaos all around.
@simplymike you never have to apologize to me.
I think that a lot of people that are like us are have some of the same issues as far as being HSP. I wish I could turn it off when I want. Nothing worse that have the moment of sanity, being happy with life and the world only to have it torn apart because someone in the same space is just oozing something negativity, anger or what have you.
That is my life. I have been working on this for past few years. I only have a couple of friends and my husband. None of them like seeing me go through what I do. They see me trying and working at things, I think they're starting to think what my therapist thinks. That I am as good as I am going to get. Which as an overthinker you know what that does.
So, my peace of mind for the past year has been letting others know that there is some nut out there who understands the 'crazy.'