Not paternalism at all IMO. If guys don't speak up and tell the immature among them their conduct sucks then they keep doing it. In my experience most immature males who engage in poor behaviour towards women don't care when they get told by a woman. In fact, they take it as a badge of honour.
It's one thing to make off-colour remarks to a woman who they know and can appreciate the humour and where it is coming from. It's quite another to make it to someone you don't know. Even within my circle of acquaintances there are guys who can make off-colour remarks and I will laugh without a second thought and there are others will make the same remark and I'll want to knock them into next week. In most cases, it has to do with their overall respect towards women that makes the difference on how the remark is received.
Some guys prefer negative attention from women over positive, definitely. that's another reason why it's such a bind women have for how to react. I like that post stephmackenzie wrote about violent reactions to men having their catcalls being rejected
It's not paternalism to stand up for a woman. Only if its decided for her what she should be offended by. I guess we all can experience the same 'damned if I do damned if I dont' feeling.
The bind women have for how to react is the conditioning they receive to just allow bad behaviour from males and not push back. The worst of it is that all too often it is other women who try to push that conditioning.
That is one of the main reasons so many males think they have a god given right to be disrespectful towards women, cause women aren't suppose to respond, at least in their little minds. That's unacceptable and other guys calling them out on their bad behaviour is the strongest approach to putting a stop to it.
How do you know that's what women think?
I will tell a guy off if he disrespects me in public just for the principle of it. But otherwise I'll just tell him he can go online and pay for a woman to talk shit to him cuz I ain't in the business for money so I aint gonna be in it for free
why wouldn't I know about the conditioning women receive? Have certainly observed enough of it happening.
Well said.
thank you