This is deep bro. I still choose to see the positive side to it. You are unshaken, you are not a normal being because you are a super being with burning passion for making life better from the chaos it has been used to. I know you always say you are broken and it rips me apart because someone as adorable as you deserve happiness. Strength, my brother. I keep praying for you.
P.S: I just posted about having no regrets. It might help a little bro. Sorry about all you had to go through.