Please take it easy, sometimes you need to be more practical rather than being emotional. I can understand what you are going through, almost everyone here goes through the same experience, unless you join with some known fellow steemians, for someone who is very new here with no known members it surely is a struggle, but you should not give up. Keep posting your content at regular intervals consistently, you will surely build up your network and grow.
I wish you all the very best :-)