There are some great one liners in here. That entire 4th paragraph is full of them! I would have to say the "pump and dump" one really sticks out to me though as I have never heard it described like that before... It is a fitting description. :)

Glad to hear that they didn't accept your Clash of Clans gems as payment in that local coffee shop way back when... so that in a round about way you could end up here. Glad to have you my friend! :)