Exactly. There should be ways to verify which are private. Verification isn't the same as being pubic. You don't need to go public to verify yourself to me as long as there is some automated process which allows you to verify.
Since I'm not a stalker or interested in harassing people, or in digging on people, I don't really care to know most people's personally identifying information. Just like I don't ask for people's social security numbers, and recognize the danger in giving it. But you need to be verified by some means, and once verified by those means, it should stick to your profile, even if I can never find out who you are.
I get spam emails such as send password or social number or we will unregister your site or whatever. Personally no one needs to know anyones real identity, this is not a bank lol. And if people really need to verify a real identify there are other places on the internet where peoples real identities can be accurately determined...
I myself met my lady online and after months I actually sent her my college login since the most she could ever do was unenrol me in some course, but I had changed any sensitive information. Once we slowly started showing trust the relationship developed further...
It would be easy to just tell college my account had been hacked and reenroll in whatever subject or other change had been messed up... And, everyone is an online stalker until proven otherwise; that is why I use different identifications on different sites : )