Bitter-Sweet Riding with my Family (SnowBlog 9)
Today was a bitter-sweet day for me. My father, sister and her fiance went up to Arapahoe Basin Ski Resort to snowboard and ski together. This was the first time we all rode with each other since my first day on a snowboard.
I was certainly looking forward to this day. I wanted to show my father how much I had improved and how “well” I can ride now. I know he always has desired to go skiing with me and it was an experience I was looking forward to.
The day didn’t go as hoped though. As soon as we arrived to the base my father had trouble putting his ski boots on. Then after that he struggled with his glasses and googles. This took a lot of time and energy from the whole group, made us feel anxious and took away from the focus of riding the slopes.
Not to long after that we went on to the back side of the mountain. I was looking forward to this terrain because it was the hardest I had been on so far. The first 200 meters were pure ice and much steeper than I felt comfortable with, so I dropped to the ground and butt-slide my way down that part.
From then on the path was nice and clear, but I wasn’t able to enjoy it because my father was lagging behind, struggling to go through the terrain. He was also feeling winded and uncomfortable overall. My sister, who is the more experienced skier, stayed with him to help while I focused on getting myself safely down to the next chairlift.
After a few more runs my dad went into the cafeteria to take a break and I rode a few times with my sister and her fiancé. My riding felt good but not as good as last time. Perhaps it was the lack of snow in the mountain that made it harder to control my board, or maybe my legs were tired from burning them out the previous day. I was still able to enjoy myself and continue to improve.
Around noon we stopped for a meal and then I stayed with my father on the front side of the mountain while my sister and her fiancé went back to the far side. I tried taking my father through some trees but he could hardly see and so we decided to call it a day and wait for the rest of our group to finish up their day.
It was a weird experience for me, to finally be able to ride with my father and have him be the one uncomfortable on the slopes. Of course he is probably a better rider than me, given that he has over 30 more years of experience skiing (on and off). On the other hand, I am much younger and athletic, plus today I was better prepared than him and more comfortable with my equipment.
This isn’t to trash talk my father by any means. I know there is a part of me that still holds a grudge on him for forcing me to go skiing 15 years ago when I didn’t want to. I know there is a part of me that blames him for the trauma I went through on the mountain which might have kept me away from the snow for a decade and a half. On the other hand, I am very grateful for that story because it has been the main motivator to learn snowboard and work towards being super good at it.
The interesting part is that a month ago, when we first went skiing together, I was the one falling way back, struggling to stay on top of my board and making everyone else wait. Now, no more than a month later, and with just 9 days of experience under my belt, I was able to ride more comfortable than my father, of course, the conditions weren’t favorable for him, but it still had an impact on me.
I can see that a part of me is afraid that from now on I will keep getting better and he will continue to struggle and that, after all this work, we won’t be able to ride together, comfortable, side to side and have an enjoyable father-son ski experience. Of course, this may very well not be the case. My father could easily get better equipment and we already have 4 full day passes for him to come ride with me. We might very well have some awesome experiences together this season and more to come.
That being said, I can’t help to see the shift in dynamics between us in relationship to sharing this sport. It is me now who will have to start taking care of him, making sure he is comfortable on the snow and checking so that he doesn’t get hurt. On one hand I feel the pain in my heart, the fear that his dream of riding with me will never manifest fully. It makes me sad that after all the work I have put to overcome my fears and get on a board, that I won’t be able to fully share that with him. Again, I might be wrong.
I hope so. Wishing many joyful and peaceful days riding with my father.
