Funny. That describes me almost to a T!
As I got nearer to graduating high-school, I found it more and more unbearable to make efforts at appealing to the "authorities" and peers: teachers, parents/ grandparents, friends, etc. It got to where I simply couldn't respect myself anymore for being "fake" (charming) - I felt compelled to be "real", even if it meant that I got "rewarded" less than before.
Very well said.
Thank you.