There is no easy answer to your question sir.
But first of all, YOU ATTRACT WHO YOU ARE.. So just be who you want to attract, the pretense issues will sort itself out.

Secondly, seek friendship. Good friends easily become lovers. So when you seek friendship, the person doesnt have need to pretend cos you ain't looking for anything per se.. So you can make your decisions based on findings.

I hope my answer helped you a bit.