I was having some rather morbid thoughts about dying and what would people remember about me.
I had a stunning self awareness moment. I have kids and people will remember that I love them, and of course my family will miss me. Then I realized that I couldn't think of how I could have impacted anyone elses lives.
It was a groundbreaking realization that I in fact may be introverted.
I have always consideredy self extroverted. I get along well with people, and I am ok with being in new places and being able to aclamate to new surroundings.
With this new revaltion, I discovered that almost all my relationshipe are superficial. I don't have many close friends, having trouble thinking of one other then family or my boyfriend. I was shocked by this and deeply saddened. I don't think anyone could say they know me, and that I have had a positive influence on them in any specific way.
After I made this discovery many questions arose..
Why have I failed to make close relationships? Are there people who consider me a close friend and I just failed to realize? Am I shallow? What now? Am I too old to make a change and deepen my relationships? Should I look for more like minded people? Am I a product of my environment?
Answers to the questions and more I'm part 2. ThankS for reading and please share a personal story or leave a question or comment.
You are never too old to change! Look at how many people believe in God on their death bed but not in life 😉😋 but seriously it is better to realize you don't value things or relationships now (or vice versa) and begin making connections you do care about based on these self realizations! Good luck!
Thanks Aly.. I have some many thoughts and Ideas, just trying to sort out a starting point!
Being aware of these desires to do more and connect more in this world are the beginning steps finding that purpose, getting better relationships, I really look forward to the future of where these thoughts lead.
I agree, you're never too old for new friends or new realtionships with old friends. But you should also know that you're not alone in these thoughts and feelings. My mother talks to me about her lack of deep friendships all the time. In my opinion people are constantly growing emotionally and usually at different amounts. This is because no two people share the same life experiences. You find growth from struggles such as death, or amazing moments like the birth of your children. Just because someone isn't going through the exact same things as you at the same moments doesn't mean you can't connect emotionally on the same level. You seem like a lovely person who people cherish.
I wrote a song questioning whether we are actually 'alive.' Like how would you know?