Good thoughts. I don't think a community policing the rest of the community is something that is going to be very attractive to the rest of the world. It's simply way too negative. People want to go to places that make them feel good, not bad. No matter how much "we" try to normalize the downvote experience it is still a negative one, even more so when money is involved. There is a reason Facebook doesn't have a dislike button.
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I agree. I do not believe the downvote button is a good idea. That said, there is a legitimate reason people want it to exist. Facebook is centralized, at any time they can remove a person's content, but on a decentralized protocol like Steem there is absolutely no stopping people without something like a downvote button.
The issue with the downvote button is not that it exists, but that it can be used unfairly and unjustly. I also agree with you that it makes people feel unhappy and can deter people from continuing to use Steem. Primarily though, my concern is that downvotes are a matter of whim and are used for whatever one feels like using it for. This can cause it to create narrow-mindedness as one community of ideals can be stomped on by a bigger and wealther community.