Hello ERIC!

Nice to meet you. I am very sad to hear about your husband not satisfying you any more. It's a tragedy ERIC. However, let's be honest here - your husband is, after all, just a man. How do you expect him to satisfy you all day and nigh?

I mean, ERIC, everyone has a limit right? No matter how much you try you sometimes just can't go over that limit. It's impossible. To be honest, I understand your husband pretty well. I've never been married but I understand him!

Also, I need to mention, ERIC, that your proposal is extremely flattering. I mean, I've never heard someone telling me something like this and to be honest I'm quite interested in someone who can be satisfied day and night.

But, ERIC, I don't think we're compatible. I'm really sorry but, ERIC, we can't be together. I'm a cold person, I'm a jerk and I simply don't give a f*ck, and yourre... well, you're ERIC. You need more than me. My "muchacho" can't satisfy your... whatever.

I am truly sorry ERIC, but I must be alone and suffer on my own. Goodbye! I will miss you!

(yes, I am ironic. yes, i know this is spam. yes, i hate spam too. have a nice day.)