Makes total sense. You're right, it is a little abrasive to our need for 'identity', but it's the same phenomenon as adapting the mannerisms and behaviors of someone who you view as 'alpha' to you in a given context. Not always bigger or stronger, but maybe someone skilled, respected, loved, etc.

Point being, I think we are all wishy-washier than we think we are when it comes to self-identification. Given the 'incentivized kindness' element that is harbored here as (@clayboyn put it greatly in another comment) I think it's easy for us to want to default to kind, helpful, well-spoken, etc.

We are just products of our environment, for better or for worse.