Many many years ago, a couple of months before I got married and on the day I was trying on my wedding dress, a 'friend' criticized me for being FAT. Oh, she didn't do it in a smug way but rather in a kind and gentle voice telling me that I should lose a bit more weight if I want to look good in that dress. Excuse me?
I was 28 and even though I was old enough to tell her off, I was too insecure and such a pathetic people-pleaser so I said nothing. I regret that I said nothing. That happened 12 years ago. I am in my early 40s now. And if she does that to me now I bet I would ROAR in her face. And she would probably run for her dear life, not wanting to talk to me again.
I am generally a nice person. I usually keep my mouth shut and smile kindly in the face of unkindness. But I could be nasty when the situation calls for it. And I don't want to be nasty.
The thing is, that day when I was trying on my dress, I didn't feel fat at all. I was roughly around 57kg. Yeah, I was chubby but I didn't feel insecure about my weight. I felt fabulous. I just don't get it why it was such a problem to my 'friend' that I looked less than desirable. It hurts back then. It still hurts when I think about it now.
I know my experience resonates a lot with other women - young and old. Why are we obsessed with our shapes and sizes? Now, don't get me wrong. I am all for wanting to stay in that ideal weight to maintain a good health, but why does it matter so much to lose weight/gain weight for the sake of gaining praises or approval from others?
The truth is people can be really rude. If you are FAT, people call you nasty names - fatso, lard, pig, chunky dunk etc. And if you are as thin as a reed, you get called hurtful things too - pencil, jingli, wafer, lolly pop etc. We are labeled regardless of our shapes and sizes.
And the sad thing is no matter how beautiful we are, inside and outside, we are still being judged for things we can't control. Some people stay chubby regardless of how hard they tried to lose weight. I believe it's the same for those who are thin and trying hard to gain weight. It's their genetic. Or sometimes it's due to an illness. We don't judge people based on their shapes and sizes. We don't know their struggles in life.
We are beautiful regardless of our shapes and sizes
We are special no matter how we look like. If I am fat or thin, so what? I know this sounds cliche but at the end of our life, how we look like won't matter anymore. Handsome, pretty, tall, short, fat, thin - we all will die. There is so much more to life than our physical appearances.
The painting
I recently stumbled upon Ben Eine's art. Ben is a British street artist who is well-known for his blocked letters style. I almost never use wordings in my stencil art. I decided to give it a try after feeling inspired by Ben's street art. I used Gloria font and painted the wordings using watercolored pencils. The stencil was painted using black watercolor.
Here are the progress photos...
Thank you for visiting! Have you been criticized because of your shape or size before? Please leave your comments below.
My previous posts:
Don't Stop Even When You Feel Defeated
Spreading Kindness By Helping Others
Is It Wasteful To Be A Work-At-Home Mom?
I am selling some of my paintings over on Artfinder. Shipping is FREE worldwide. You can check them out here: ARTFINDER. Thank you!
Cantik both wedding photo and painting! :D
Thank you @zord189 :)
Yes very true! Everyone is born different and is unique in their own way. No one should dictate our worth with their opinion. I was insecure with my outer appearance once like you too, and over the years I've learnt, only His opinion is what matters the most to me and I will always be beautiful and enough for Him.
Nice piece of art of @coloringiship! And you looked absolutely gorgeous in your wedding dress! ❤
Yes @michelleloh168 ...our physical appearance will fade away. It doesn't last. What matters is our relationship with God. Life is too short to think about something as trivial as look. It's okay wanting to look good but to get obsessed by it is not healthy. Thank you for dropping by and commenting!
I might have seen you..I might have not but what I see through your writting and drawing is that you are absolutely gorgeous! And when you are beautiful inside, it is reflected outside. Same goes to those who have nasty comments as the words that come out from their mouth is a reflection of themselves inside...unfortunately! Well thats how I see it.
Yes you are absolutely right @ranjitavelan . And thank you for your lovely comment!
The dress! You should keep it for your girl!
I still have the dress. I had it tailor-made, total cost RM100!!!. Of course tidak muat suda hahahaha. And I still keep the hand bouquet too. It's a crystal bouquet.
Whether we like it or not, some bodies are built bigger than others. Similar to height, weight is determined at least in part by genes. It’s unfortunate that people aren’t always willing to take the time to see that..
You looked gorgeous in your wedding dress @coloringisship :)
There are things we can't change no matter how we wish, like our genes, like you said. Unfortunately, majority of people refused to accept that. Thank you @arwine :)
@coloringiship I followed you because you create beautiful art pieces. You inspire me to pick up drawing, colouring and painting again, which I hope to start soon. The last time I dabbled in art was back in secondary school. With regard to your post, people not only criticize about shapes and sizes; these days, they also comment whether you look youthful or haggard for your age.
Thank you for giving me a follow @redtomato ...I am giving you a follow too. I am glad that I inspired you to pick up drawing again. Do post them on Steemit, I would love to admire your artwork.
By the way, I noticed that you are good at cooking. I don't have that talent and I am a terrible cook LOL.
You are right about being judged by looking youthful or like an aunty. We just can't please people :(
You looked (and still are) beautiful! The most important thing is that you feel good about yourself. Thank you for sharing <3
And your paintings are awesome!
Thank you @enermerisa :)
That's why it is important to teach your kids at a very young age, even when they are just 5 years old, or whenever they make comment or tell their siblings/friends that they are stupid or fat or anything bad, that it is hurtful for the other person to hear those words and ask them what would they feel if someone else will call them that! I have 14 nieces and nephews and 8 grand nieces and nephews (I dont have children of my own as I am not married), but kids will always remember what you tell them. Some of them will never say it again but some needs longer time to remind them over and over again.
I agree with you @noriaakip . Kids learn to be nasty by observing their surroundings - from their caregivers or their peers. We have to guide them and do a lot of role-playing in order to teach them the right values/stuff.
You looked simply gorgeous in your wedding dress!
Thank you @lianmok ...Yes I was LOL
hot a art
Thank you