More than a Xenophile

“We have come into this exquisite world to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom, and light!” ― حافظ

Xenophile: noun – 1. a person who is attracted to foreign peoples, cultures, or customs.

I guess you could say I’m a xenophile. I have always been attracted to other cultures, customs, and people. I see it as a blessing which goes nicely with my curious mind (thank you, Gemini-rising), and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Up to now, the amount of actual traveling I have been able to do has been limited — financial reasons. But I have travelled everywhere that’s moved me in my mind.

Being a xenophile naturally expressed itself in my attractions to foreign men: African, Indian, Arab, Persian, European, yadda-yadda. And I could become what they needed, if given permission, that is, if the interest was requited. I’d be the closest thing to the real deal as I could. Ask the Masai man who wanted me to be his fourth wife, or the Ugandan man whose second wife I did become. I tried to be as Hindu-like as I could be dressing in Indian garb, practicing the religion, eating the food, you name it. And yes, it translated to all the others, too.

But I know I have just been fascinated and drawn to others, in order to better know myself. My friend would say it is because I had so many past lives in these places and cultures, and that could be true. All I know is that from my earliest memory, I felt the longing, the yearning. I felt all these things within me, in my blood, my heart, my spirit. And still, I cannot get enough.

I was born to experience my oneness with life. I was born to know myself as everyone.

“You need to become a pen in the Sun’s hand. We need for the earth to sing through our pores and eyes.” ― حافظ

While I will ever hear the siren song of foreign lands, it has ceased to take the form of so many romantic interests.That was a young girl’s pursuit. And that’s for a different post. This xenophile wants more than ever to be in so many places across this earth, cover so much territory before I leave it. I want to feel the earth everywhere, and know myself better through her. I want to meet myself everywhere I go and love me all the more as everything. And everyone.

Drawn, I am. Go, I must.

Everywhere.

Even if it's only in my mind.