Day 8 - I will find my grievances
All negative emotions can create internal stormy weather that can hide the light of the soul. Fortunately some of them are temporary, such as anger or irritation. You may become quite angry if you lose some important files on your computer, but will do your best to compensate and after a short while the anger is gone. While in the state of anger your power to focus on the inner light is greatly reduced. When the anger has passed then you are able to focus again.
Ideally the seeker would never get angry, but everyone does feel this emotion now and then. The important thing with anger and other negative emotions is to not let them get out of control and channel the energy in a harmless direction until it is diffused. It is important to avoid frequent negative emotions for if they reoccur too often the seeker will never have the peace necessary to establish soul contact.
A negative emotion that stands out from the rest is grievance. What makes it different is that, once embraced, the grievance has a continual effect. Anger, irritation, jealousy and others come and go, but once a grievance is held there is no relief. Even when you are not thinking of it this emotion continues working in the background of your feelings. The seeker will never attain the peace necessary for full soul contact as long as a grievance is held.
The seeker cannot neutralize grievances unless he realizes what they are so let us define what a grievance is.
A grievance is a hurt feeling that affects the emotional body. The hurt and pain manifests because of something considered injurious or wrong that someone else did to you. The wrongdoing could range from something small like a minor insult to something devastating such as a betrayal of a loved one.
It matters not that the cause is big or small for if a grievance manifests then the seeker has a major obstacle that blocks out the light of the inner sun. Therefore, we must deal with the finding and dispelling of all grievances.
The first step is for the seeker to find any current grievance within his breast. One of the problems with doing this is that many have held grievances for so long that the effect of it seems normal now. It seems to have gone, but perhaps your new normal has adjusted to it so, even though it lives on in the background, it seems to not be there.
In my college days I had a room next to a busy street. There was a constant noise from cars and trucks passing by and this really bothered me for a couple days. Then I adjusted to the interference so it didn’t bother me at all. But when I slept somewhere that was quiet I then noticed the difference.
Even so, the seeker may have adjusted to the interference of various grievances and seems to have adjusted to them. He will not realize the effect they have on him until they are faced and diffused. Then when he encounters real emotional silence he will be surprised at the difference.
Today’s assignment is to reflect on your life from your earliest memory to the present and recall all the emotional hurt that comes to your mind. As you find these grievances ask yourself if you have completely let them go or do they still have an effect on you. Is it still discomforting to reflect on them? If so maybe you have not let them go.
After you arrive at the present reflect on the people in your life now. Is there anyone who has hurt your feelings? Does that hurt still linger?
Identify as many grievances as possible so the next step can be taken.
Copyright by J J Dewey
Hunting God - A HowTo, Day 7 - I will examine my feelings today
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