I have written about how I experience this additional 'sense' called empathy on a human to human level in Part 1. Here I will share how deeply it can affect me through a TV screen.
It's pretty normal for most people to watch something upsetting and get upset about it, to have some kind of emotional reaction to it. If you didn't, that would ring alarm bells of it's own. I experience that greatly intensified.
The best example I can remember was when I watched a documentary about the annual dolphin slaughtering off the coast of Japan, as they are considered pests there (yeah I'm serious). When I was a child I was obsessed with dolphins, my bedroom was a dolphin shrine through and through. I watched this documentary, I knew it would be upsetting, but I was not prepared for how it affected me. One activist managed to record the dolphins screaming under water and it has haunted me ever since, it was sheer terror and they sounded like people. They round the dolphins up into coves, jump in boats and go around spearing them to death, the whole cove turns red with their blood, and they don't stop until every last one is dead. It was horrific, it was not just upsetting, when the audio clip was played of them howling in agony under water, for brief moments I lost all sense of where I was, it felt like I lost sense of who I am, it felt like I was in some kind of limbo, and I myself was overcome with terror, panic, intense fear and sadness. I was hysterical, bewildered, confused, utterly disgusted to be a human being. I literally could not, and still cannot comprehend not only why someone would think it is ok do to this, but how they are capable of doing it. The only explanation I could come up with is that they must be monsters. I saw this meme once on facebook and it's always stuck with me -
I wasn't just crying, I was hysterical, snot bubbles coming out of my nose, mascara all over my face, I wanted to be sick, I wanted to fly out there and try and save them. I was angry, I wanted to hurt every single one of those people who speared a dolphin. I had to switch it off, I could not take anymore. I had nightmares about it for roughly two weeks, and I could not stop thinking about it, day after day after day after day. I had to have a pep talk with my self, and begrudgingly come to terms with the fact that there was just nothing I could do right now, and find some peace in the fact that there were other people like me out there, fighting for them. Braver and stronger than me, going out there risking their lives thwarting these slaughterings, managing to save a few lives, managing to shoot this footage to raise awareness, someone was trying to do something.
But that did not give me a great deal of relief, there must be something I can do. I tried to share a few things about it on facebook and found a petition to try and stop it, and shared that. You know what happened? I received a few inbox messages asking me to stop sharing things like that because it was too upsetting, and people don't want to come onto facebook and see shit like that.............I saw red.
I reacted along these lines- OH DONT YOU NOW! IM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THESE DOLPHINS DON'T LIKE BEING SPEARED TO DEATH EITHER! I AM SORRY I INTERRUPTED YOUR POSTING ABOUT YOUR DINNER! IF SOMEONE WAS SPEARING YOUR DOG TO DEATH I'M SURE YOU'D HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!
It's easier to look away though. If I am honest there are times where I am envious of the ignorance some people have. That may sound harsh, I do not aim to offend, but in the age of information, ignorance is a choice. And yes we have free will, and no I do not expect everyone to see things from my point of view. However, what I do observe is pretty much everyone around me struggling with life. On the surface it looks ok, but how many people do you know over 40 that have no ailments what so ever? Physically or mentally? How many people do you know that are truly happy? As in happy most of the time, riding the normal fluctuations of the emotions? Really think about that. How many people do you know that have nothing to complain about? You don't like it, but you believe that you can't do anything about it either. Are we all being affected by this on some kind of mass consciousness level? You've all heard the phrase- 'We are all one, everything is connected.'
People want things to change, but they want someone else to do it for them. Oh yes- 'I don't like that the dolphins are killed like that, but it's nothing to do with me, it doesn't affect me, I've got my own shit to deal with, please I don't want to know'. If we can't stand up for what we know deep down to be wrong because it's just easier to turn a blind eye to it, then my friends, we're fucked.
It's not easier to turn a blind eye because you're a bad person. I am not saying that. I guess what I am aiming to do is get people to question why they may feel that its easier to brush past it. It's not because you don't care, because most people do find it very disturbing. But you've got a long ass week in work, the toddler is playing mary hell, the gas bill was through the roof this month so you're working out where you can save some bucks, your car needs some work before the M.O.T, you've got enough on your plate, someone else can deal with that shit.
Who?
Who do you think is going to deal with it? Because everyone is in the same boat as you, everything is designed that way so that you are so overwhelmed and tired that you feel like you can't do anything to make a difference, or your attention is continually drawn to other things. The people out there that do try and make a difference need back up. It may be uncomfortable to face, but if it makes you uncomfortable ask your self why? Is it because you know deep down that it's wrong? You may think what can I do? You can raise awareness, it may not get you as many likes are the perfect shot of you in the bubble bath just did, but petitions do effect change, and awareness does effect change. Looking the other way does not. I am not just talking about the dolphins here, I am talking about everything that you are dissatisfied with about the world around you. Stop pretending that you don't see it, please.
I don't have all the answers to save the world, but I do know that if we keep ignoring things like this then nothing will change. We have to start somewhere. We have to start by not looking the other way, then we can see what happens. I am often met with comments like, 'But you can't do anything about it, life just isn't fair, why do you get so wrapped up in things that don't affect you?'
They do affect me, quite profoundly, and quite possibly ALL of us.
I cant make a major difference all on my lonesome, other than blogging, maybe challenging people to think about things a little deeper. But I am doing my bit, there is always something you can do. And don't be fooled into thinking otherwise. Because one day you may need to stand up for something much closer to home, with other people, and we won't have a clue how to stand together.
That's why I care.
It's one of the reasons I left Facebook (mostly) and my hubby gets so pissed off. Dinners and cats are fine, but post about bombing Syria or slaughtered dolphins? Ignored completely. Sometimes our mental health depends on turning off and tuning out the things you can't do much about - i know that for sure, and I've been better off NOT watching the news because it hurts me so. I figure I do the best I can to be a good person and make the world a better place by the things I CAN do. Wonderful post, lovely!
Thank you for taking the time to drop by and comment :)
Yes I do understand in reflection that it did upset people and it's not ok to shove your views in peoples faces. This all happened a few years ago and although I was very angry at the time, I know now it's not the best way to approach people.
We have cancelled our TV licence as it is just bombarded with negativity- which most likely is one reason many people turn to facebook- it is a form of escapism, and why they would get angry with me for bringing it there too.
Now we choose what we want to see on youtube, netflix, amazon etc and it feels much better!
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