Cruising through the "magick" tag, I see a lot of fluff pieces. A lot of Magick101 if you will. Basic magick theory and how-to's and that's great.
I, personally, have seen the same tried philosophical topics, magical theories, and walkthrough's beaten to death and then some over and over and over again.
So help me G-d, if I see someone else say "Magick isn't like Hollywood/Harry Potter" one more time, I'm going to kick the wall. We know, okay?
Maybe it's hanging out with chaotes, but I'm easily bored now. If I've read it three times, I'm probably not going to read the same re-hashed ideas again. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm probably going to rehash them for you again here in the near future, but I just won't go out of my way to put a lot of thought into discussion if you didn't put a whole lot of creative thought into copy and pasting.
I'm no master and I don't claim to be. In fact, I kind of enjoy being a forever noob of magick, witchcraft and sorcery.
But I thought my opening discussion on magickal stuffs would be about a somewhat personally important issue that I didn't see immediately.
Predators in the Magickal Community.
Disclaimer: I'd like to take the time here to point out that these are just red flags that I've cataloged in my noggin from my own personal experiences. You are in no way obligated to take any of these to heart.
Whether these people are out to get your, time, your money, or even just your emotional labor, they. have. gots. to go.
Get them out of your life. Cut chords. Block them on every account if they're online and don't look back. These people will suck you dry (and not in the fun, kinky way), walk all over you, and kick you to the curb when they're done with you.
... if they're ever done with you.
Sometimes there's no pleasing the people that want things from you. They're always looking for something in another person to fill the void in their own lives.
A lot of these might seem like they're common sense. Keep in mind that occasionally these people don't show their ugly side until they think that they've adequately hooked you and earned your trust. They won't show you how bad they can be until they think that you think they can do no wrong.
Part of magick is getting so heavily invested in the psychodrama of the thing that, if we don't ground ourselves properly (or ya know, give ourselves a good smack in the face every now and then), we can easily get swept away by the persistent pushing of ideas, no matter how wacky they are in actuality.
The Tantric Doesn’t-Believe-In-Traditional-Monogamous-Relationships Cult Leader
No one is ever "woke" enough except them, but if you do what they say you might get woke enough one day.
This condescending bastard will likely talk down on your paradigm and try to fiddle with your moral compass. He frequently talks about "true mastery of the ego" without showing any actual personal progress. This person typically has nothing to offer themselves much less you and only wants to keep you around to admire them and be part of their magickal entourage.
They eventually do a complete 180 when you don’t agree with them 100%. Things were fine up until now. They might have even called you their “protégé” or “best friend”. You told them you didn’t think the random kid down the street was possessed or maybe their methods of working was a little off so you said something. Now they’re giving you the silent treatment and making passive aggressive remarks, maybe withholding friendship or even being downright nasty.
They don’t care about what you think. They just want someone to groom to love them.
They’re also weirdly obsessed with sex magick… and they want to teach it to you… but they can’t teach it to you unless you have sex with them whether you are fond of the idea or not.
Run away.
The first few times you speak to each other they hit you with the “we knew each other in all our past lives 🙂 we were meant to be” or the “do you believe in soul mates?!”
“You were meant to teach me/I was meant to teach you. It’s fate.”
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain these two, but I do.
Even if your path includes ideas like soulmates and fate, this person is trying to pigeonhole you into a place where you have to agree with them or you’re “going against things bigger than yourself”. They’re already trying to condition you to feel like you have no way out. A lot of these people are seeking unhealthy codependency and for you to perform a lot of emotional labor. Even if it’s reciprocal, it will take up all of your time and energy and make it hard for you to back out of the friendship when you realize that they’re hurting more than they’re helping. They want you to feel guilty for wanting to separate from them, so they try to entrench themselves in your heart, your head and your paradigm for good measure.
They’re on a mission to fight demons and -
And they talk about how horrible it is to make it sound super cool. They pretend what they’re saying isn’t absolutely weird and horrific but it uh absolutely is. And not for the reasons they want you to think. Any sane person would turn around and run, but at this point, they’ve given you a miserable back story. This poor loner! On a… bizarre… lonely quest. Fighting their (inner) demons. Did they mention that they're a "loner" and that their spirit animal is a wolf like a hundred times yet? They tell you they’re probably even saving the world against the forces of evil, but you can smell the bullshit. The only real solution here besides maybe suggesting psychiatric help is to cut off all contact. I’ve honestly never found out their end game, but that’s because I’ve never stuck around long enough. I, personally, cut off all contact and block their screen names and phone numbers after the first phone call telling me that they’re into some weird self harming stick and how darkness and blood fascinate them. If you let it go any farther than that, you’ll get those 100 or so rapid fire texts (even though you aren’t responding) at three in the morning asking for ultimatums and sex, peppered with emotional pleas and hints at self harming if you don’t comply.
The Asshole With a Heart of Gold
They don’t exist. You might think they’re doing a bit. That they’re just trolling or picking on their friends for fun and they care about them deep down.
“They treat everybody like that! No big deal!” you tell yourself days, weeks later. But then the weeks turn to months and they haven’t made any progress and they’re still shitting on your emotions and your paradigm and talking themselves up.
Yeah. No. There’s nothing to envy there.
Trust Your Instincts
The most important thing I think I can convey here is that you should trust your gut too. If you get a weird vibe, if you feel like someone is pushing boundaries in a way that you're uncomfortable with, don't be afraid to at the very least take a break from them and evaluate what's going on from a better perspective.
Not everyone in the magickal community is worthy of your time, your admiration, your knowledge or your friendship. Even if they do seem to have a bunch of magickal accomplishments under their belt or wisdom at their fingertips.
If there's anything that magicians are good at, it's bullshit, whether they're trying to bullshit themselves or others.
If there's anything you'd like to talk about in regards to predators in the magickal community, online, in person, doesn't matter... let me know! If you feel like there's something I've missed, or should go into more or less detail on, let me know that too!
I hope you all had a decent read.
Stay safe out there and happy magicking,
Bun Mom
Yep!!! I hear ya my friend!!! I also get how tiring it is to have to repeat this over and over again, because people still keep falling for it. I see this within the "New Age" communities continuously... and yet people still fall for it.
d
I hated always looking for deceit everywhere I go but now it’s second nature and I don’t mind it.
Predators adapt as they go and nobody wants to see the bad in people, everybody wants to believe in the sob story or that they’re special or that there’s always something good about them but sometimes it just doesn’t exist and the fact of the matter is that they’re users. It sucks but it’s true.
You will agree to what I say,
so I will heal your lonely soul.
And if you dare to leave one day,
I have already reached my goal.
This is, what people sometimes think,
if they see someone just in need.
Your blood is what they like to drink,
your hunger is, what they will feed.
There is one teacher, that I know;
She is in no community.
It's mother nature, she will show,
the truth in all her unity.
I tend to completely abhor people who try and push the idea that they're "woker" or more enlightened than others, that they are privy to some secret on how reality works, or things like that.
I have encountered a lot of people like those you describe. They usually get into the mindset that they can do nothing wrong and if you go against them then you are wrong, and suddenly you're the devil and an obstacle they have to beat.
The worst for me in that regard I think is the fake heyoka. “I’m just playing with you (while I’m hurting your feelings!) I’m the trickster! Nothing I do is wrong and I never have to learn anything!”
I've run into a few of these kind of people. They want you to be part of their group, but they run the show...if you disagree with them about someone on their shit list, all of a sudden you're on their shit list too.
I’ve encountered this recently too!
Which is difficult when your magickal social circle gets larger. The larger the circle, the better the chances of finding people who will have conflict with each other.
I feel that it’s toxic to try to micromanage your friends, telling them who they can and can’t hang out with for petty reasons or without letting them decide for themselves.
This can be straightforward as in “I don’t like X so you shouldn’t either!”
But it can also be a little more sneaky, by telling lies about someone behind their backs.
LOL yea alot of male pepole in the witchcraft community are like that think they know it all n shit.... are so fuckiing knolwedgeable on witchcraft just cause they got some silly piece of paper on there wall from some school meanwhile im over hear doing shit they think is impossible why cause i realise its possible and played around with remebering that its real in my dreams first enough and got a trigger 2 activate it while awake. but yea i mean u know ur god itself its really easy 2 let it go 2 ur physical ego miind but eh that can be fun 2
dats why i stoped even barely going 2 my local druid /earth based group fuckers couldnt even have a rational chat with the shit they say they believe in like doing magic which i actually do fuck being afraid of nothing that and ive begun meeting alot of the beings they say they want 2 believe exist just cause i beelieve in them u dont need 2 fucking wait 2 believe in ur dreams just shift urself 2 the reality u prefereE!
Great advice. These predators exist throughout all communities, but they are especially prevalent in spiritual circles. And once you add magick into the mix it seems to bring their predation to ever increasing levels of harm. Thank you. It is refreshing to read something that isn't an introduction to magick that I've read a million times.
Sometimes people think they know the signs to look for (like poor boundaries, negging, etc) but when it's framed in a spiritual context, a context we think is safe because it's very personal a lot of the time, they let their guard down.
Most recently, I've noticed that myself and others were looking for people to trust in the magickal communities so we'd ignore red flags for the sake of friendship. It ended up not being worth it in the end.
Thank you for the kind words! I'll try to continue to post quality content :)
Great post that should have had more love.
I'm no magic man dispite writing about myths at the moment not to long ago actually about "abracadabra"
Personally I have been long time friends with a man that I could only call a cult leader with a commune of 30 plus people never have been able to figure out if he believed the stuff he spouts or if he is just a really charismatic conman.
Either way he is always interesting to hang out with.