Dont put so much stress on being perfect, because when you fuck up, and will it will make you feel a lot more like shit, just try to do the best you can, and kno once in a while you will eat like shit, or smoke , or do drugs but thats okay, if you say you will never do them then relapse you put so much pressure on yourself so you will feel like shit... If you really wana cure your deppression, help other people out homie, there are many people that would kill to be in your spot, if you think you got it all, go to fucking a village were there is no food to eat, and set them up some shit so they can be sustainable , i guarentee you will be happy if you do that, help others that are less fortunate... Peace you will be sweet bro strive and prosper , look at the positives what you do have, gratitute , helps..