The challenge I so brazenly requested from the universe isn't all that easy to put into words. Let's just say my hermit life in a patch of woods in the middle of the city got flipped upside down.
Hard to believe this is in the middle of a bustling city, it's since been destroyed so I am thankful to have enjoyed it while it was nice. I lived on Highland off of High rd which was pretty hilarious to me.
I ended up meeting someone very special a week later, who would be a mirror to show me the things that my ego blinds me from seeing. He had to really make an impression because he was competing with my solitude and I love myself ;)
Connecting people to one another is a shining pale indigo blue wire, It's beautiful like a thread of silk, I wonder if it's what they call the chains of fate?
Shortly after I unexpectedly had to move out, the power got cutoff and it was quite the scramble to figure out what to do, my first time finding a place on my own as an adult. Luckily his mom wanted to move out of her place and transferred the 2 year lease to us.
Right away I got my first dog Quinners, I'd only been pushing for one to my dad for the past several years.
This was a pretty epic first place! Huge basement for all the critters. Human room mates on the other hand are not all that easy. There would be much drama but also much party.
This sadly caused my significant other a lot of anxiety and eventually I pushed him away feeling my freedom restricted by a lack of trust. I entered with the intention of being polyamorous - what I referred to as a wolf pack, but it didn't end up that way. I had immense love to give and wanted to share that and made it abundantly clear from the start, turned out that is not what he wanted. I unintentionally continued to break hearts by my non-traditional views. I was kind to everyone, perhaps too kind. I had abundance from my entrepreneur skills and shared a lot. I also liked to cuddle everyone because of this overflowing love. I realize that because of this people would get attached despite stressing I'm not a trophy to be placed on a shelf or coveted.
I feel differently about it now, I openly admit I am full of contradictions. That's what happens when you constantly take in new information and continue to grow. I do however believe non-attachment is the way to love unconditionally. That is without expecting anything in return. When you love with non-attachment, you're not concerned with the results of your loving, which emanates from you like perfume from a flower.
I started doing drugs again after about 6 years and drinking a lot. I believed myself to be immune to any consequences. Hardly got hungover or slept. Continued 'God mode' I suppose but under influence. I tried acid and I exclaimed it was like "Cheating at life".
I was way up in the clouds and my ego was pretty out of control. For example.. I truly believed I could change the weather and people would actually request me to.
Though apparently it is a thing. I found this book called Prescient Visions recently and Chapter 2 goes something like this - Learn how focusing your mind on passing clouds can rapidly dissolve them and other applications that train you for more complex phenomena.
Ultimately, proof lies not in intellectual arguments, but in being touched in some way by the sacred within and without
My friends would call me Rainbow Tash and we'd get mighty rainbow smashed! I was having the time of my life in case you couldn't tell. And if not familiar with Rainbow Dash she is a character from My Little Pony Friendship is Magic who likes to win, going fast, controlling weather, being cool and would do anything for her friends. I feel I can really relate being a Leo sun & Aquarius moon.
Clearly though I was much too trusting of who I allowed in my life and love....
Things got pretty rough towards the end of my stay here. I ended up being robbed among other devastating scenarios. The landlord terminated the lease a couple months early and once again I scrambled to move my obscene amount of stuff & animals. This would lead to the beginning of my journey to homesteading though ^_^
Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that - MLK Jr
Being normal is not necessarily a virtue, it rather denotes a lack of courage.
Normal can be likened to conformity which leads to stagnation and ultimately, decay.
And a new adventure begins...
Stay Weird!
what a journey! it is so true that things suit us for a time and then we grow out of them. from what i've seen and experienced, we get these messages that we're growing out of them, but sometimes we want to stay and that's when different stuff starts popping up- a lot of people experience depression and what not. anyway, that just came into my mind. thanks for sharing your journey! i'll look forward to the next installment :) btw, love the rainbow hair! rockin!
Thanks! I loved being a rainbow, I'd go out and hand out flowers to strangers and had a serious lack of fear lol. That makes a lot of sense, Seneca wisely said, “Fate leads the willing and drags along the reluctant.” Be willing, so as not to be dragged. Thanks for stopping by! <3
haha i like that!
that's cool you had such a lack of fear! i had one friend that went by the name of cody love rainbow and he definitely taught me to be less fearful and more open to strangers in public. we'd dance in the in large circles singing when the cross walk signs would go on at popular streets and set up in the park and make big circles. def good vibes and lots of fun! <3
That sounds like a blast!!
Oh my! You must have a fascinating Natal Chart (astrology). The main thing is you have "Quinners"! You seem to be on a spiritual journey... that from the essence of the energy you share will work out favorably for you. I suspect you'll find "home" one day in the role of "Wise Woman". The process to that point, however, can be arduous. Many blessings on your journey. Thanks for sharing. Give the dog a hug for me!
My numerology is certainly crazy, maybe I should post about it. It's slightly responsible for my ego-trippin in those days though lol. I've had Quinn for about 6 years now, he's saved my life a few times, I will certainly give him a hug for you! <3 I appreciate the insights, that sounds exactly like how I'd like to end up in the future hehe. The process being arduous reminds me of a quote I discovered recently.
Thankyou for the blessings, rainbow loves to you! ^_^
Great quotes and wonderful sharing of your past journey @wisewoof! Wild, fun, adventures help shape who we are which creates our legacy. Like the beautiful silk thread mentioned in your blog. Weaves the tapestry of our lives. It is fun to follow your story. And, to meet your sweet doggie! You are immensely beautiful in many ways 💖
Oooo that's a beautiful adding 'Weaves the tapestry of our lives' :D I'm glad you enjoy the story, it can be a little unnerving writing about my life, like what to say what not to say but I smash fear! I had something pretty life changing happen for me a few days ago which I'm gonna write about, starting to feel myself again yaayy! Awe thankyou as are you dear!! <333
Because of my weakness in English I read each sentence alone and imagine how your life was... At the same time I optimistic that your life will be nicer and more wonderful... Because you're on the right road... my dear friend @wisewoof