My Yom Kippur

Even though I’m not a religious Jew (at all), I still observe the meaning and cleansing principal of Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year for Jewish people. I am not a religious Jew but I always take note of this "sabbath of all sabbaths" because I believe that examining our mistakes and how we may have hurt others is always worthwhile and in fact deeply valuable.

How I translate the idea of “day of atonement” is that God can forgive you of your sins between you and God but not between you and other people. Only those people can forgive you for those hurts. I want to note here that I translate “sin” to mean -missing the mark. We may intend one thing and still miss the mark.

So often we spend our energy on how we’ve been wronged rather than how we’ve wronged - intentionally or unintentionally - others. I also love that we don’t just figure this out on our own, we ASK those closest to us to tell us and then ask for their forgiveness.

I think it’s useful to go through this with myself also because frankly I harm myself too often through regular meanness and misuse among other ways.

It’s a great chance to reflect on where my life is going and consider my “mistakes” as well as to redirect areas as needed.

Most Jews fast for Yom Kippur but I don't. My way of observing this year is probably considered blasphemous by many. I began by taking a few hours to sift through my feelings and to reflect on the year while raking leaves outside. I find I do well with a meditative activity, it’s cathartic for me.

Then tonight Rob and I will make a somewhat special dinner with candles and before we eat we'll sit and ask each other about hurts and ask for forgiveness. This may become a thread of conversation that we pick up and drop through dinner, into the evening and even in to tomorrow. We’re casual about the protocol, but take the meaning seriously.