I have thought a bit in the past on how I wanted to write this post and if I did or didn't want to actually put this out. I said a while back that if I was going to share this journey that I was going all the way with it and not holding anything back, so please know that anything I say from this point forward isn't a humble brag or looking for kudos, it's just facts that I'm going to disclose to show where I was before and where I am now. The thing I have come to realize about empathy is that it is as much a responsibility as it is a gift. It also isn't one of those things that someone even has to be aware of and it reinforces the concept of giving is receiving and vice versa in my mind. Empathy is ultimately a sharing experience.
I have always felt that I was empathic, but I'll be honest when I say that in the past I was far from a responsibly empathic person. I was one of those people that would give and do things for people, especially those I cared about, and I never felt that I was a good person and in some ways it was as much of a punishment to myself as it was to benefit them. I don't want to blame anyone or anything for how I ended up in that situation, but repressing my emotions and having no real sense of self was not a stable way to care. I have been feeling a state of neutrality towards people and events lately, but perhaps it's just learning how to care and be able to detach enough that I am not affected by the outcome of events.
Perhaps it's the belief in the law of attraction and realizing that I don't need anyone else to validate my actions or emotions, or perhaps it was learning that I could still put myself back together when I felt like I had nothing left inside. I have had quite a few opportunities to help others financially lately and I prefer to do this anonymously. I find it interesting that the more responsible I am with my own personal well-being, the more I have to give and share with others. Perhaps it's the law of attraction working out for me, but it seems that the universe is always taking care of me in these situations too now. I honestly don't need to understand it or care to dwell on it too much, but I can say that being responsible with attachment and expecting nothing from those I help, not even friendship or them being aware of the fact that I did anything, is extremely freeing for me personally. Namaste.
Wow, it's not often people help others without expecting a gold star for their good deed.
Good on you:)
It was never about more than just trying to help someone, but without a real sense of self it just felt like I would give so much that it was detrimental to my own well-being. I'm not just talking financially either, I would dedicate too much time and emotional energy too and that left me unstable and on the edge myself most of the time.
I love this post. I have walked this journey before.
Feels as if we are liberated when we realize what we thought we need we actually don't. :)
It just feels like anything I need or want is being provided for me, so I don't need to expect or ask anyone of anything.
Wonderful wisdom. Thank you for posting this.
Resteemed!
Thanks for the support!
This is a powerful piece. At the core of it, its about being ok with yourself that you dont need that outside validation for the things and sacrifices we make for others. The internal and spiritual validation are sufficient and more than enough. It attracts the best and positive experiences and resolutions for us.
This reminds me of instructions from a flight crew on an airplane, "Always put the air mask on yourself first and then assist others" because if you're passed out, you aren't able to help anybody else. Taking care of self allows you the opportunities to help others in so many ways. Good one dude!