"50 Shades of... dark circles under my eyes" - Dealing with sleepless nights

So we have all been there haven’t we? Afterall, it’s all part of being a mum. But one thing I have to stress that I really HATE is hearing things like “oh I love night feeds it’s special time for bonding with the baby”, well shall I tell you what I like? PEACE AND QUIET and A FULL NIGHTS SLEEP!

I honestly can’t function without at LEAST 6 hours sleep, and let’s face it, with a newborn you get about 4 solid hours (if your lucky)…If you have a hungry baby who feeds on demand and dosent have a set feeding pattern (like mine) then it’s even worse, because you seriously don’t know whether your coming or going. Now I also hate it when you get this “I’m so lucky, my baby sleeps through and has done since 2 weeks old” now that I REALLY hate. Not only does it make me super jelous, but also makes me feel as though I’m failing as a mum. What am I doing wrong? Am I feeding him enough? Am I over-feeding him? Yeah you get the jist. My mind (as always) simply goes into overdrive!

Now it’s been 2am and I’ve been guilty of doing the Google searches, I’ve searched things like “how to get the baby to sleep through the night” and “why won’t my baby sleep in its moses basket?” You know, those type of searches. I’ve also been there when you get to the point where you feel like throwing the baby out the window because you just want that extra hour shut eye! Ha ha. . Now I did find some useful strategies however most of the time they turned out to be pretty useless. . But the following things are what I used (and still do) just to help me through the nights and that help keep me sane.

Acceptance. Now the first thing that helped me was purely accepting the fact that this is what babies just do. Just reminding yourself that they are purely dependant on you for their survival is enough to give you the motivation to get up and just do what you have to do. Acceptance of what is can be powerful if you are resisting the fact you have to wake up and do the night feeds it really does make it harder. If you just tell yourself “come on you can do this!” And give yourself that little push it can make a difference!
Support network. Now what I mean by this is try and find another mum who wakes up and does night feeds. This can be really helpful. There have been times when I have messaged another mum during the night feeds and I have really enjoyed those late night/early morning conversations. They make you feel normal. I was lucky enough to have friends who had babies around the same time as me so I could message them. But with my eldest, Leon, I didn’t. But there are many groups on Facebook that you can find where you can chat to a mum whilst doing a night feed to help you get through it. Support like that can be amazing!
Watch TV. If your lucky enough to have a TV in your room, wack it on. If your not so lucky like me, then watch something on your phone even if it’s a stupid video on YouTube it does help to keep occupied. Now i would say you could read a book, but for me personally, this makes me tired but just do what works for YOU.
Sit up straight. This one might seem obvious, but when I first started night feeds I found that staying slouched or led down (when breastfeeding) led me to falling asleep which can obviously be dangerous. Staying sat up keeps you alert and can actually waken you up.
Purposely don’t take a drink to bed. This makes you get out of bed and walk downstairs to make one. This helps you to wake up and again makes night feeds easier.
Get dad to help. Sometimes, you just have to. We are all human and we need sleep. Even if dad is working, sometimes you need that time out. Because happy baby = happy mum right?
These things might work for some, others maybe not. You just have to do what’s right for you and don’t beat yourself up about it. I’ve been there, so sleep deprived I’ve fallen asleep to my baby hanging off the bed (literally). Sometimes, it just can’t be helped. I’ve also been there when my baby has been up ALL night non-stop screaming to the point where I’ve screamed SHUT UP and then just broken down and cried. We all know how it is, it’s so important to remember not to neglect yourself- because mums matter too!
Alex

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