What's up gang?

So, there's this competition, Kingmaker, #sharkschool or whatever by @yallapapi and I thought to myself "Hey Redbeardguy why don't you write one of them super-hot, clickbaity,but useful posts and win the damn thing?

I mean, I do like to talk about myself in third person, so that means I am crazy enough to write good shit. Besides, there are only 2-3 people on Steemit who are as capable as I am, so it shouldn't be that hard.

OK, I Got News For You Boy. The Jews Stole All The Money

I know. It is a sad situation, but what can you do? You are a 20 year old with dreams of living a life worthy of instagram, yet you can barely afford rent.

Hmmm... , here's a good idea. Why don't you invest in a high risk, volatile market like crypto!? That should solve most of your problems.

What? You just lost your money and now you are starving to death? Told you so...

Here's why you don't invest in crypto OR in any other market:

1.You don't have enough disposable income
If you don't have at least $500 to dollar cost average (ie the minimum requirement for most mutual funds), you shouldn't even aspire to buy BTC or any other imaginary coin. Having <$500 means:

• You don't have a steady income
• The ROI doesn't worth the potential risk
• These $500 have a much better use

"B..B...But I've made LOTS of money with less than $500." Sure, #metoo. That doesn't mean it was the most optimal decison and most notably, the days where you blindly put $100 in a shitty alt-coin and you instantly became a millionaire are gone. Now, it requires effort and time. I don't know for you, but my time certainly worths more than a measly $100 ROI (100% increase).

2.You don't have a second stream of income
Assuming you're not a worthless piece of shit without a job, you should create a second stream of income that covers your living expenses before you consider investing.

Until then, you're considered a deadman. You depend on a monthly paycheck. What happens if you are fired and go homeless and you end-up immigrating to Thailand, trying to hook up with chicks with dicks, because you were confused by their tight yoga pants? Are you gieeaay or something? Why would you want to bang a tran?

I know you, you are too much of pussy to take this ENORMOUS risk of spending money to earn money...

3.Your networth is smaller than your ego
Similar to number 1, you simply have zero monopoly dollars. You are not liquid enough.

Are you going to invest half your shit, that's 50%, in some shady Chineese ICO that'll probably use your money to make cheap Nike shoes, that are actually of the same quality with the real ones?

4.You don't have the knowledge nor the mentality to pull this off
The bloodbath that 2018 has been for crypto, showed me that very few people have the proper mindset to play with real money.

No one trimmed the top. Because you are greedy as FUCK, you didn't sell some of your position to secure at least some profits (initial investment+3% isn't that crazy for fucking Warren Buffet's sake) even when you hit your initial goal...scratch that, you didn't have a goal in mind did you?

Hype, hype, hype! The story of the Crypto Siren Whores. "Everything is gonna keep rising forever, so why are you selling? Let me convince you and shame you to hodl." You didn't put cotton in your ears like Odysseus. If you have life chaning money tied in crypto, you may consider selling them, for real.

You care too much about the day-to-day prices. You are not a day trader (thank GOD!). The basic principles of investing still apply. Most people handle crypto as a gambe, rather than investment.

Got it? Investing ain't for you, if you don't have some decent $$$ already or if at least you're not eating your dog's food to save money.

BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS WRITE ON STEEMIT AND EARN MONEY LOL

Yeah sure you do. I've been writing every day for 2 months and here's the results:

That's 47 f u c k i n g dollars lad. I've written, let's say 50 posts? I've earned LESS THAN A FUCKING DOLLAR FOR EVERY POST. (well, this one is gonna earn quite a bit I am pretty sure, but that's beyond the point)

It takes me about 1 hour to finish each one, so I spent 50 hours to earn 47 dollars. x15 less than the minimum wage. And honestly I am doing better than most on this platform. Seriously. But I see it for what it is. A longterm investment. I write everyday anyway. Imagine Steemit being your only source of income...

What's the alternative though? Getting a real job??!!? What the fuck, are you a normie gtfo.

No, we drink the online cool-aid:

Selling Useless Crap Online, By Manipulating The Left Spectrum Of The IQ Bell Curve. Basically Communism, If Communism Was Capitalism. Welcome To My Party!

Let me make this clear.

You won't earn a dime in your first year
You won't earn a dime in your first year
You won't earn a dime in your first year

If you aren't patient, you will never make any money online.

This is how it usually goes for most people:

• Year 1: Gets all excited. Read forums for success stories. Takes zero action
• Year 2: Maybe watch a video or two, reads a book, but eventually takes zero action
• Year 3: Enough is enough! Gets hyped up, spends $1000 on a seminar about website design(lol), but doesn't make actual progress.
• Year 4: After contemplating for months, strategizing and planning, finally purchases the $100 webhost. Total noob and as expected he fails or MAYBE makes enough to pay for hosting.
• Year 5: This is the year that defines who will make it and who will return to that cubicle that sucks away the lifeforce of humanity.

I bet you think you're better than most people and it won't take you that long. We'll see...

First of all what the fuck is a niche site?

Most people, when they think of making money online they either think "multi-million company" or genius, nobel prize winning writer.

Since the average man is too much of a pussy to start an actual company, they end up writing a blog where they pour their hearts out. Yeah, they average <100 visitors a month and they complain on the fastlaneforum that "blogging is dead".

No my semi-autistic friend. You make money by either selling your product or someone else's product.

WOOOOOOW... La magic!

So a niche site would be a site where the people who come are ALREADY interested in what you have to offer... and then YOU SELL them.

It's a "niche", a special interest and there's not THAT much competition you get stomped by the big corporations like Amazon.

Oh, did I forget to mention that you need a bunch of skills to make this work :)

1.Copywriting
2.Marketing
3.Branding
4.COPYWRITING
5.SEO (the basics)
6.Some basic programming skills
7.Lots of experience

That #1 and #4 are the most important, in a sense that copywriting (selling, duh) is a highy transferable skill.

See the title of this post?

I judged you to include you one way or another and then I created a context where the people who are actually too poor to invest, would like the $1000. Plus, "How to" title + the "$" figure and the hot topic "Niche site". It doesn't sound that hard now does it?

If you want to be better at copywriting , pick this, this and this and start copying (lieterally write them down word by word) famous ads from Swiped and read the Gary Halbert letters.

After that, you just start writing your own sales letter and improve upon. Done, finnito, no $997 course and no excuses. Just put in the work.

(Disclaimer: The links are actually affiliate links, don't mind me goyim, I may make like 30 cents off of them)

About the rest of the stuff, you have to experiment on your own and honestly, I don't want to write another 1000 words. Perhaps another time.

Look, it's getting hot right now and I need a drink. I will make this quick and finish this damn post

5 Steps To Create A Niche Site

1. You go on Clickbank and you choose an offer (free)
2. You buy a domain name, a webhost plan ($50-$100) and you install wordpress
3. You write a sales letter and at least 5 blogs posts, focusing on keywords with buyer intention
4. You put your affiliate link in the site, using the copywrite methods you've learned
5. Wait for people to come and click your links

Profit!

There are a lot more in-between steps, but honestly, I knew A LOT less when I started and I still made some profit with my first site:

Don't expect your site to blow up. Give it 6 months. It takes time to rank on Google.

And that's it. I don't want to write more right now, because I'd be giving away trade secrets and I ain't doin dat for free.

OHHH!!! I forgot!

What it takes to make $1000.

The math behind this number.

Let's say that your product gives you a commission of $50 per unit sold(this is a big number for a virgin, but anyway!)

You'd need to sell 1000/50=20 units to make $1000.

What you have to do to sell 20 units?

Most sales pages in most niches have a conversion rate of 2-3%, meaning for every 100 people reading the copy, only 2-3 people buy the product.

That means you need 1000 people clicking your link. That is if they go straight to the check-out and IF they are good leads etc...

In my experience, you need 100-200 daily visitors to make anywhere from $1000-$2000 per month, capiche?

Now I am done.

- The Steemit Bully, Thatredbeardguy

P.S- This is a goddamn quality post right here and for that you should UPVOTE, RESTEEM and PUT SOME RESPEK ON MA NAME BEFORE I BRING THE GOONS TO FUK YCHOU UP BOI. Oh and don't forget that the "Bully For You!" service is active!

Here's some of my previous shit you may like:

You Are Oversexed and Underfucked
How to be productive with less that 4 hours of sleep
Why No One Loves you(Hint: It's your fault!)