I don't know who the fuck you are, and I'm pretty sure this isn't 1500 words, but you might get a chuckle out of it.

https://steemit.com/funny/@profanereviews/ian-s-scrotum-and-the-scream-heard-round-the-lake

Or you might not. You seem pretty angry.

Either way, you got my attention and I agree with a lot of what you say. If you are looking for comedy stories, I would love to write something up for you. I don't know a fucking thing about crypto or technology, but I can usually throw a funny spin on shit.