It is just best to be honest:
A moment on the throne to make any man nervous. Getting the shits right before coitus.
Things get hot and heavy and start to roll, but then you stop to take the browns to the super bowl.
You held it in so long it starts as gas, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, you don't know how long it will last.
Thinking of an excuse to explain your absence, prowling around to hopefully find incense.
Maybe light a candle and say you’re a romantic, anything to hide your stinky panic.
In the end, she knows what you're doing, just walk out like a man and say "ya, I was pooing."
It's better to take an angry or grossed out scowl, then trying to pitch your a game with full bowls.!
Po Oper from @Manonhisthrone