I never,ever have sex if I don´t feel like it. And I would never,expect someone to have sex if they don´t feel like it. I can change my mind,but then it has to come spontaneously. I live in a polyamorous relationship though,so my girlfriend(who wants sex way more often than me) is free to seeek out other partners. Polyamory is the solution IMO.
But if you want to please your partner sexually more often(and yourself) then look for ways to increase your sex drive instead. Work less and get more sleep,that is what works for me. Spice things up, communicate,all the ususal advice..
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in my particular relationship we have a 5 month old daughter and we don't find much time for sex so when we have an opportunity to we may not both feel like it. I know that I can get myself in the mood with some effort. I'm not sure how effective methods are for increasing sex drive for women. My sleeping patterns are up and down depending on baby's sleep. We aren't interested in a polyamoroius relationship. I don't think anyone should have to have sex if they really don't want to but I think it's fairly easy for people to get themselves in the mood if they make some effort. And it doesn't hurt your lovers feelings.