Yes, of course, you can go about it this way. But she didn't set any time limits, and I can imagine, he didn't expect to wait more than 3 months. So when he is communicating his frustration to her, he is being honest, which is a good thing. One person can't set all the rules in a relationship for it to be succesful ( whether they are having sex or not, after 3 - 4 months this is already a relationship). She should be more honest with herself first, and think about if she can ever trust him in the future or not. The fact that Sandra feels he doesn't love her is very selfish. Does she love him even a little bit herself? Is she warming up to him to actually trust him, to be honest about her feelings and communcate with him?
Sex does cloud emotions, if it is good, women get a head full of oxitocin, making them fall in love after sex easier. Men on the other hand get a dopamine rush.
Well tales about asking for proof of love were in vogue when I was 15 I think, and these were cautionary tales.
I'm not in her head, yet from what we know, she was pretty clear with him from the beginning: wait until she's ready and that's that. So either the guy can barely control his urges (very bad: many women will need much longer periods of abstinence e.g. around childbirth, and he is now doing pretty much all he can to coerce her short of actual rape), or he was immature enough to expect time limits where there were clearly none. Either way, Sandra has every reason to think that he cares more about his itchy dick than about her feelings.
It is also clearly stated that she thinks he might have never loved her. It is also only said he told her about his frustration (nothing about the degree of how he tries to coerce her). Men, at least the ones I've met, tend to get frustrated, when you keep postponing something (work, trips, whatever, sex in this case) without being clear. Basically he just wants a confirmation if it's going to happen or not. If he should keep on waiting.
Yes, of course, you can go about it this way. But she didn't set any time limits, and I can imagine, he didn't expect to wait more than 3 months. So when he is communicating his frustration to her, he is being honest, which is a good thing. One person can't set all the rules in a relationship for it to be succesful ( whether they are having sex or not, after 3 - 4 months this is already a relationship). She should be more honest with herself first, and think about if she can ever trust him in the future or not. The fact that Sandra feels he doesn't love her is very selfish. Does she love him even a little bit herself? Is she warming up to him to actually trust him, to be honest about her feelings and communcate with him?
Sex does cloud emotions, if it is good, women get a head full of oxitocin, making them fall in love after sex easier. Men on the other hand get a dopamine rush.
Well tales about asking for proof of love were in vogue when I was 15 I think, and these were cautionary tales.
I'm not in her head, yet from what we know, she was pretty clear with him from the beginning: wait until she's ready and that's that. So either the guy can barely control his urges (very bad: many women will need much longer periods of abstinence e.g. around childbirth, and he is now doing pretty much all he can to coerce her short of actual rape), or he was immature enough to expect time limits where there were clearly none. Either way, Sandra has every reason to think that he cares more about his itchy dick than about her feelings.
It is also clearly stated that she thinks he might have never loved her. It is also only said he told her about his frustration (nothing about the degree of how he tries to coerce her). Men, at least the ones I've met, tend to get frustrated, when you keep postponing something (work, trips, whatever, sex in this case) without being clear. Basically he just wants a confirmation if it's going to happen or not. If he should keep on waiting.
Except that he is threatening to walk away.
Given his behavior, she is right to doubt it.
Perhaps the guy would be better off with a rubber doll, it wouldn't postpone.