The short answer is that every human body is different. Differently shaped, nerves in different places, different chemical responses to different types of things. Absent a bona fide medical issue, some combination of the right penis, the right vagina, and the right technique can probably lead to orgasm, but that's a lot of experimentation. There are more ways to have sex than most people have time in their lives to try out.

That said, a man's desire to have penetrating sex and his desire for his partner to get off that way is just as valid as a woman's desire for other things in the bedroom. Women are often very quick to dismiss whatever the guy wants when it's "just not working for me", like his bedroom preferences don't matter. Then insist that the guy embark on a long journey of communication and working together, as he tries to open his mind to all of this other non-penetrating-sex stuff his woman wants, when all he really wants to do is penetrate his girlfriend until he has an orgasm and wonders why she needs this bevy of compromises to even have sex at all.

I think a lot of people out there have been raised to think that sex isn't that important. That we're all supposed to focus on everybody's personality and intelligence and having things in common, while sex is just the occasional cherry on top. People are hesitant to walk away due to sexual incompatibility because that seems shallow, and end up in unsatisfying relationships where both parties do things they don't want, don't get to do things that they do want, do things less often or more often than they want, and nobody's really happy sexually.