It can be so easy to shower the people we love with love while forgetting the one person that may deserve it the most: ourselves. Some of that can be due to our personas, especially if service is our love language. Other times it's just what society and tradition expect us to do, as in caring for children or elders. Through it all, it's so easy to put ourselves last in line.
This came up a number of years ago when we were moving things back into our remodeled kitchen. My partner was asking me to hand her the fine china she'd bought four decades ago. You know, that "special occasion stuff" that she would pass on to children who, for some reason, would automatically want and cherish it.
"Why not us?" I asked her. "Why not leave two place-settings out for us to use?"
Her gut reaction was horror, but then she thought it through.
"Great idea!" she said, and we left two accessible for us. Everything from Coquilles Saint-Jacques to grilled cheese sandwiches has been served on those since, and we will pass on that philosophy to whoever receives them.
Which brings me to yesterday, the 51st anniversary of our first date. We had been trying to think of some simple, inexpensive thing we could do, as frugality is front and center in our lives these days. Our home is being renovated, and those not-so-little unexpected things keep cropping up.
Then crazy me came up with another "why not?!" idea. Before my partner could gather up her any objections, I asked her to hear me out first. When she rolled her eyes, I asked again.
"You know that five-course wine meal we were offered?" I began.
"You're referring to the one 400 miles away from us?" she snarked back.
"Let's make a day of it," I said.
I could see her formulating all the reasons why this was inane, insane, and impractical.
"Think about it," I continued. "The small fee we paid for that credit card qw got plus the miles we have would cover the flights. We could pack a breakfast. I can get a $40 rental car for the day, far less than ride share would be. And our friends near the airport have already said we could park at their place, and that they would drive us to and from. And if we wanted to bring back any of the wines we like, the flights include up to a case for free."
In other words,I had researched this through, taking away all of her objections.
"That's a great idea" she exclaimed.
Which is how we would up flying to Napa Valley,
Absorbing a beautifully romantic setting,
savoring a five course wine pairing meal,
Indulging in some chef mastery
...and taking a relaxing drive through the rolling hills, all the while reminiscing about all that has happened during 51 years together, and how blessed we are, as we took in the shimmering lights from below.
Loving ourselves, and loving each other, made for a fine day.