You mention your brain has always felt off. Have you ever undergone a sleep study? Someone close to me had similar symptoms, bipolar, attempted suicide several times, could sleep for days non stop.

Then he had a sleep study done, where doctors stuck wires on his head and looked at his brain waves while he slept. They discovered a rare form of epilepsy that prevents his brain from going into REM sleep. He's treating the epilepsy, and now doesn't need psychotropic meds, which never worked for him anyway. Hope this helps!