The Stokers' Furnace Logline...
"With the over-dose death of the son he abandoned at birth, a despised, closeted and washed-up rocker, desperate for one last hit, is forced to travel home to dispose of the failing family bar, the Stokers’ Furnace, only to discover his estranged teen-aged grandson, who he’s never met, is a budding song writer."
The Logline Elements...
IRONY
CONFLICT
PICTURE THE WHOLE STORY
WHO THE MOVIE’S FOR
WHAT IT’S GOING TO COST
TITLE
With thanks to Blake Snyder and his book "Save the Cat". Buy it if you can!
Y'all. I'm a professional screenwriter (meaning I do this for a living). The logline posted above is terrible.
Do not listen to "screenwriting gurus" or anyone pretending to know they can teach you screenwriting if they're not working writers. Listen to the Scriptnotes podcast. Read scripts (google the name of the script + PDF). Watch great movies and television.
Lots of love, x Julie
Hi Julie, You may very well be right. What would you suggest. Always looking to improve.
According to Wikipedia, Blake Snyder was a successful screenwriter.
Brian never pretended to be a "screenwriting guru".
I am working writer working in Hollywood with actual credits. Everyone in Hollywood knows that Save the Cat book is baloney. Don't read books: read scripts.
Julie, I hear you, and I congratulate you on being a working Hollywood writer with actual credits. However, as Vcelier said, I'm not a guru or pretending to be one. I encourage everyone to constructively pick apart anything I say in the hope of building something better. The fun is in the doing - encouraging people to pick up a pen and start. Nonetheless, with respect, you lost me with your "Save the Cat" comments. To suggest you speak for everyone in 'Hollywood' is absurd. You're entitled to your own opinion. But please don't insult us with your excessive pretentiousness. Good luck in your future endeavours.
I should say, don't read screenwriting books. By all means, read great works of fiction!
I agree on the great books but I also think it doesn't hurt to do both.
Eh, I'm a working screenwriter, and the Save the Cat book is pretty handy to understand the basics of structure. I always use the lingo from that book in my meetings, e.g. "All is Lost Moment", etc.
If it works for you, use it!
Yes! The Blake Snyder book,. The beat sheet is all I really have on my desk when I'm writing. And one of the best pitch lines: 'Jaws in Space' - for Alien (1979)!